eto na

pag tinatanong ako ng mga tao kung gusto ko ba ang ginagawa ko napapangiti ako at madalas di ako sumasagot...so ngayon sasagutin ko na *showbiz diba?**cameras pls*
sa tuwing may maririnig ako na di maganda o sa mga balitang di kaaya-aya eh sumisikip ang dibdib ko at di ko maiwasang magalit....di ko lubos maisip na sa lipunan natin ay mga taong walang pakialam sa iba...kahit buhay pa ang mawala basta marami lang silang pera...yun lang naman ang puno't dulo no'n...PERA...
sa sobrang sakit..sa sobrang sikip di ko na magawang tumahimik na lang at magkunwari na walang nangyayari... parang lumiliyab ang aking kabuuan para kumilos...
noon di ko alam kung paano ako makakatulong...kasi nga 'bata' pa nga ako...ni hindi nga ako makakilos na walang permiso ng magulang ko pero di ko naman kailangan 'tumanda' para makialam sa kung ano ang nangyayari sa paligid ko...balang araw lalabas din ako ng paaralan at mamumuhay sa 'totoong mundo'... gusto ko lang paglabas ko sa mundong iyon may kaayusan na...pantay na ang lahat ng tao...
kaya masaya ako sa ginagawa ko...dahil di lang nman para sa iba ang ginagawa ko...para sa mga kaibigan, pamilya, classmate, kahit na rin sa kapitbahay ko...*owwwsss*balang araw magbubunga din ito... maaring hindi ngayon o baka di rin sa panahon ko pero ang tanging nagpapalubag ng loob ko ay ang bagay na alam kong kumikilos ako para sa lahat...
ITO ANG BUHAY KO!!!!KAYA NGA MASAYA EH!!!

gudlak!!!!

WHO IS THIS PERSON?????
that was the question the very friendly Chief Acoountant told one of my friends as well as my co-staffer when she handed the request for the budget the publication can use and started telling about things she doesn't know, the poor girl was left confused!!!!!!!that really hit homebase!
okay i signed the request as well as Mark [finance] and mr. longinos [adviser] but he told marian WHO IS THIS PERSON?[pertaining to me]i don't know her!!!!!!okay i don't know him either....i don't even know what he looks like..i was having my class at that time that's why i wasn't able to hand it to him personally....
gudlak to his career...gudlak with my career...

13th JOURNALIST KILLED

Kalinga-based journalist murdered

BAGUIO CITY -- A young journalist working for a
local newspaper in Tabuk, Kalinga, was found
dead by residents near the Tabuk Central School
on Wednesday, five days after he was said to
have been abducted.

The body of Stephen Omaois, 24, which bore
head injuries and tortured marks, was formally
identified by his relatives Thursday morning at a
funeral parlor in Tabuk, the capital town of Kalinga.

Kalinga Police Director James Dogao believed
Omaois, who was working as a writer for Guru
News Weekly, a six-month-old local newspaper,
was hit with huge stones until he died.

Omaois's body also bore torture marks, was
defaced and unidentifiable, and starting to bloat
when found.

A task force was already formed to determine the
motive behind Omaois's murder and identify his
killers.

Dogao initially believed the killing was not job-
related, although a report from the local National
Union of Journalists of the Philippines (NUJP)
quoted residents as saying "there was already an
earlier threat from unknown people against
Omaois related to the exercise of his profession
as a journalist."

Omaois, who also worked as a stringer of the
government-run dzRK Radyo ng Bayan-Tabuk,
has been writing on developmental and
community issues for Guru for five months now,
according to his editor Dr. Estefania Kollin.

The NUJP Baguio-Benguet, meanwhile,
condemned Omaois's killing and tagged it as an
attack against press freedom and people's right to
information.

"We join our colleagues in urging the Philippine
National Police and concerned agencies in the
area to conduct an impartial investigation for the
immediate disposal of justice for the death of
Omaois," NUJP Baguio-Benguet chairman
Artemio Dumlao Jr. said in a statement.

NUJP national chair Inday Espina-Varona,
meanwhile, stressed, "the murder and torture of
Omaois--the 13th this year--highlights how inutile
law enforcers have become in the face of
criminality."

"The murder of Omaois, who was on the trail of
corruption charges involving a public works project
in Pinukpuk town, should disabuse our law
enforcers of the notion that slain journalists had it
coming," she added.

"Top PNP officials, including Director-General
Edgar Aglipay, have hinted that lack of fairness in
reportage and the lack of discipline on matters of
security are major factors in the murders of
journalists. Aglipay is wrong. Omaois and several
victims of the record violence hounding the
Philippine media were 'guilty' of trying to ferret out
the interlocking directorates of misgovernance
and criminality in their communities," the
statement said.

The Omaois family migrated from Mountain
Province and established residence in
Casigayan, Tabuk, Kalinga. (Cheryl G. Cruz)
-SUNSTAR BAGUIO

so forgetful me

i forgot a lot of things today...maybe because i haven't got much sleep last night...*huh*who invented insomia anyway?!...i was floating on my way to school and while riding a jeepney somebody's phone made an irritating sound...(message alert po) then an image popped in my cloudy head...cellphone on the table...waiting to be picked up...by me...huh!!!i completely forgot!!!!i promised everybody that i will bring my mobile....para naman they can contact me anytime...but the forgetful me forgot it!!!!!now i'm so worried cause pypai might be looking for me somewhere....i don't know....*huh*
next time....don't leave the house without checking your things....*sigh*
another wishful thinking.....
ballpen...another essentials for a student[?!] like me...i have no pen with me....huh...
can a person be acquitted to a crime when he/she pleads temporary amnesia...for 10 mins?cause if not....i will be convicted....
so sad...
so tiring...
so sleepy...

ENOUGH! End All Journalist Killings

COLLEGE EDITORS GUILD OF THE PHILIPPINES- Cebu Chapter

ENOUGH!

End All Journalist Killings

November is a dark month for Philippine Media. This month alone, four journalist have been killed.

The brutal death of Allan Dizon, a photojournalist from Banat News and The Freeman in Cebu City, the 12'th this year, and the 61'st since the ouster of the Marcos dictatorship in 1986, has stirred skepticism in the government's effort to end this social malady of indiscriminate killing of journalist. The question of whether the freedom of the press that was restored in 1986, still exist or has long enough been banished reinforces the cloud of social unrest.

The alarming rate of deaths, speaks of how inutile the government has become in the face of this horrendous trend. Not a single a single conviction has been served by any of the deaths since 1986, creating a 'climate of impunity'. the PNP's directive to allow journalist to carry firearms for self-defense is an acknowledgement of its ineffectiveness to protect the journalists against threats on their lives. it is not a wonder why the people become doubtful of the PNP's ability to protect ordinary citizens when they cannot even solve the heinous crimes committed against prominent media personalities.

The international media is appalled at this brutality, rampant from a supposedly democratic country, and has clamored for justice and vigilance to protect the media, the bastion of the freedom of speech in a democratic society.

The intesified attacks on the media is a reflection of how respect for civil liberties and human rights of have continuously degraded all throughout the years, as cases of human rights violations multiply annually. The broad mass of the Filipino people, in the middle of the worsening crisis, bears the blunt of the suffering.

The alternative media, the campus press, is not exempted from the continuous attack on the media.

Dubbed during the Marcos regime as the "mosquito press", the campus press has experienced its share of assaults. the silent curtailment of democratic rights inside school campuses has been raging on even after the downfall of Marcos.

In April 2002, agents of the military under false charges summarily executed Benjaline "Beg" Hernandez from the Atenews of Ateneo de Davao, then the Vice President for Mindanao of the organization. With no convictions, the case remains unresolved.

At present, the ratification of the Campus Journalism Act of 1991 is used by school administrators to silence and shut down campus publications all over the country. The padlocking of the University of San Carlos' Official Student Publicatoin Today's Carolinian and the Voice of Talamban is an unfortunate fate suffered by numerous student publication in the country.

The College Editors Guild of the Philippines (CEGP), an alliance of student publication nationwide, is one with the people and the Philippine media in condemning the physical brutalities and human rights violations committed against journalists, and calls for immediate and concrete action from the authorities to put an end to all the killings.

JUSTICE FOR ALLAN DIZON!!!

JUSICE FOR SLAIN JOURNALISTS!!!

JUSTICE FOR THE PEOPLE!!!

FOR REFERENCE:

Kristine Marie Musni

Vice President for Visayas-CEGP

09194520709

smile

i wanna see everybody smile
when they're frowning i'll just turn them upside down...

my friend's weblog

http://www.livejournal.com/users/gareb

wala lang tignan nyo lang kung gusto niyo....hehehehehehe...

boring life...

my vacant time is from 11 til 4...huh...and now i'm left alone inside the office without anyone to talk with...so sad...but then on the lighter side i was able to do my research in NSTP (i can't believe they let studes research in that stupid subject)..it was about family planning.....hehehe...

so sad...i just wish any person will show up...as in right now...cause i haven't uttered a single word for a very long time now....hhhhheeeeellllllpppppp......

yehheeyy!!!15 mins na lang class ko na!!!para naman may mga tao na akong makita sa mundo...hehehehe...

gutom na ko...need to get something to eat before i go to my cs12 class....

time to get bored again...but the difference is i have my classmates to share my boredom with...

RED DAY

december 1 is a RED day...
the World AIDS Day...

lilo and stitch

may pagkakaiba ba???

something from bulatlat.com

The Hacienda Luisita Massacre, Landlordism and State Terrorism
The public outrage ignited by the Luisita Massacre should also keep an eye on other potential flashpoints that could lead to similar acts of state terrorism. There are several other plantations, large estates as well as development projects and mining exploration areas in many parts of the country that have been militarized.
By Bobby TuazonBulatlat

The violent dispersal of the strike of Hacienda Luisita farm workers on Nov. 16 that led to the death of 14 farmers including women and children and the wounding of 200 others was a massacre bound to happen.
The labor dispute that pitted, on the one hand, the hacienda’s 5,000 farmers and 700 milling workers who were demanding among others the reinstatement of 300 workers and on the other, the management that has rejected every inch of their demands was in a deadlock. With their families living on starvation wages and themselves threatened with a mass lay-off, there was no way by which the workers could push their cause except by staging a strike.
From the very beginning, it appeared that the only response that the powerful Cojuangcos – including former President Corazon Cojuangco-Aquino – had in mind was by military means. Most of the accounts that have been reported about the Nov. 16 massacre have overlooked the fact that the 6,000-hectare hacienda, known in the past as Asia’s largest sugar plantation, has been militarized since the beginning. The military detachment that was put up at the hacienda reportedly carried out harassment operations against union leaders particularly in the thick of the election of union officials. Union officials were accused as “NPA rebels” or “sympathizers” – a demonization campaign that, in the military’s counter-insurgency strategy, is usually the prelude to the summary execution of progressive activists.
Just across the commercial complex that adjoins the hacienda along the MacArthur Highway in Tarlac is the Philippine Army’s Camp Aquino. Camp Aquino, while serving as the headquarters of the Army’s Northern Luzon command, virtually guards the vast hacienda and its units are at the beck and call of the Cojuangcos and other powers-that-be in the region during times of labor unrest or during election.

Other flashpoints
Yet the public outrage that the Luisita massacre has generated should also keep an eye on other potential flashpoints that could lead to similar acts of state terrorism. We refer to the fact that there are several other plantations, large estates as well as development projects and mining exploration areas in many parts of the country that are under militarization. These are areas where the lands of farmers were either grabbed from them or where agricultural estates due for land distribution have been subjected to land conversion schemes.
These are also areas where communities of upland farmers and indigenous peoples are displaced to pave the way for so-called energy, irrigation or similar development projects and mining exploration activities. In these areas, landlordism and transnational corporate power cast a net of terror backed by government agencies, local officials and military and police forces and often also by paramilitary and private armies.
Thus, in Negros for instance, farmers and human rights groups have accused another Cojuangco – former Marcos crony Eduardo Cojuangco, Jr. – of using his political influence to use the military, police and even a gun-for-hire “rebel” group to protect his landholdings and corporate property. On Mindoro island over the last few years, scores of activists, community organizers including human rights volunteers have been killed reportedly by government troopers and their assets. Today the island has once again been opened for the entry of transnational mining corporations out to exploit Mindoro’s mineral deposits.
In Siocon, Zamboanga del Norte where the Arroyo administration has allowed the Canadian firm Toronto Ventures, Inc. (TVI) and Benguet Corporation to conduct mining exploration and production, military and paramilitary forces have been deployed to block attempts by the Subanons to stop the destruction of their communal and sacred lands.
In these and many other provinces, counter-insurgency has been used as a ploy by civilian and military authorities to suppress the resistance of hapless farmers and indigenous peoples. Too many cases of human rights violations have been committed against unarmed protesters in the name of counter-insurgency.

“Outnumbered”?
In the Tarlac massacre, government has said that the soldiers and police units deployed at the height of the strike were “outnumbered” by the protesters who were able to mass up 4,000-strong. And so sword had to be unleashed: an APC (armored personnel carrier) rammed through the workers’ picketline while machine gun and snipers’ bullets were fired into the crowd from several directions coming – so surviving victims and eyewitnesses said – from atop buildings of the hacienda. Apparently, the strike was violently broken to allow at least 50 truckloads of sugarcane to be milled, also inside the hacienda, and hence allow the Cojuangcos to continue reaping some more money.
The ghosts of the past have returned. The whole of Central Luzon – which includes Tarlac province – has probably the most number of massacres that have taken place in recent memory. The list takes you all the way from the Philippine-American war at the turn of the 20th century where whole communities were raided and pillaged and their inhabitants murdered without mercy by U.S. mercenary troops, to the massacres perpetrated by soldiers and constables under the command of then Defense Secretary Ramon Magsaysay and CIA operative Col. Ed Lansdale as well as during the Marcos dictatorship and until today.
One of the most gruesome cases was the massacre in Lupao, Nueva Ecija in the early part of the Aquino presidency, where 17 farmers including women and children, were killed by Marines on suspicion that they were NPA rebels. Before that in January 1987 – the second year of the Aquino presidency - 13 farmers were shot and killed by Marines and policemen as some 10,000 farmers from Central Luzon and Southern Luzon marched to Mendiola to demand genuine land reform.
Central Luzon used to host the biggest U.S. military bases outside the U.S. mainland – Clark Airbase in Angeles City, Pampanga which is some 20 kms from Tarlac, and Subic Naval Base in Olongapo City, Zambales. The military bases were there not only because of the vast valley’s strategic location but because their presence was supported by the powers-that-be, such as the Cojuangcos and Aquinos.
More important however is that Central Luzon has been historically dominated by traditional oligarchs with big landowners maintaining haciendas not only here but in other regions as well most especially in Pangasinan, Iloilo and Negros. Some of the country’s presidents – including the current one – come from here. Indeed the elite power that originates in Central Luzon casts its tentacles far and wide.
In Congress, landlord-representatives were the first to emasculate the much-touted Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program (CARP), reducing it, as organized farmers said, into a mere scrap of paper. At the village level, town and agrarian officials colluded with judges preventing large landholdings from being subjected to CARP through trickery and other machinations. The myth about President Aquino’s sympathy for the peasant masses through her “centerpiece” CARP quickly crumbled when she unleashed her total war policy where tens of thousands of peasant families bore the brunt of militarization and atrocities. She and her successors hyped about land reform while the sword of war was pointed against the peasantry.
Landlordism has made Central Luzon as having one of the biggest populations of tenants and farm workers and the displacement in the livelihood of many others is being made possible by the bulk importation of cheap rice, corn, vegetables and even salt, no thanks to President Arroyo’s trade liberalization policy. Probably the only flicker of hope that an ordinary family can grope for today is a contractual work abroad. The region is thus where many overseas Filipino workers now in Iraq and other Middle East countries come from. From them one can sense the strong will to survive despite the hopelessness they leave at home: “Di baleng mamatay sa Iraq hwag lang magutom ang pamilya sa Pilipinas” (It’s better to die in Iraq [by having a job] than see my family starve to death at home).
Widespread poverty, landlessness, union repression and state terrorism help fuel the armed revolutionary movement here. One cannot mourn of the Hacienda Luisita massacre without thinking that this would ignite some kind of a prairie fire that would engulf the entire region once again – as it has been in recent past. Bulatlat Analysis

nakakapagod pala

akala ko kaya ko...nakakapagod din pala...parang gusto kong bawiin bigla ang "CHALLENGE" na dinulot ng bigla kong pagka-busy...bumigay na nga ang katawan ko kasi sobrang stress...pero di ko yun sinisisi sa bago kong trabaho....siguo kung may insomia ka at talagang malamig ang paligid eh magkaka-ubo at sipon ka then mauubusan ka ng boses....nakakatawa nga kasi sa recitation namin sa speech class nirecord ang boses ko to asses daw ang mga dapat icorrect sa speech ko....or rather sa pronunciation ng mga words...then wala akong boses or sa madaling sabi eh papiyok-piyok ako...tawanan naman sa klase kaya nakitawa na lang ako sa kanila...

sabi ni charisse para ko daw diary itong blog ko...well...wala kasing maisipan na mga pwedeng ipost dito na masaya....yung nakaka-engganyo basahin....sige lang...next time pagka naumpog na ang ulo ko sa kung saan...*tog*

okay 15 mins. from now klase ko na...kailangan magmadali para di ma-late...computer class... ano nga ba ang history ng computer?di ko alam kaya bahala na lang mamaya...bading naman yung teacher namin kaya baka yung mga lalaki ang tatawagin niya...hehehehe....pero hindi oi!!! mabait si sir!!!masaya din kung mag-discuss....sige lang....last meeting eh nagsawa na naman siya kaka-recite ko eh...kaya baka di niya ko tawagin ngayon....

nakakapagod din pala kahit gustong-gusto mo yung ginagawa mo....siyempre mas gusto mo eh mas nage-effort ka....kaya mas napapagod ang katawan mo...hhhaaayyy...okay lang...at least masaya ako...

another thing to be happy...well..classmate pa rin kami nina deep_pie at ni kirby sa chemistry... paano ba naman eh may nalalamang change of schedule yung prof namin kaya naloka ako kakahanap ng paraan para maka-kuha pa rin nung subject na iyon...so luckily eh nagbaliktad lang yung english class ko and yung chemistry....

okay 5 more mins. aalis na k baka magalit pa si sir at di na 'ko papasukin sa computer lab....

mamaya na lang...

gwapo 'te!!!

para sa iyo tamaan ka sana!!!

sige lang ganyan ka talaga...sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon ay parang gusto kitang lukutin o kung hindi man ay sakalin hanggang sa matauhan ka!!!kung hindi ka pa nadala sa lahat ng pambabato ko sa iyo noon pwes sana TAMAAN KA NITO!!!!

alam mo naman ka kailangan ka pa namin dito pero parang wala kang paki!!!ang pakiramdam namin ay tila kami ay iniwan sa ere kaya napakalaking DAGOK para sa amin...anong garantiya namin na lagi kang nandiyan??? di ko nga alam kung saang lupalop ka hahagilapin o kung paano ka kokontakin...sige ang rason mo ay meron akong number mo...pero ang tanong NAGREREPLY KA BA???hindi!!!!

kaya kung may natitira kang awa sa amin (please lang)nandito lang kami sa office at maghihintay bukas para magpaENROLL ka na...kahit kami na ang magtatatakbo sa kung saan-saan para maging studyante ka lang ng INSTITUTION[?!] na ito...

sige na please lang!!!utang na loob!!!

anyway ingat ka nga pala!!!

at kung ako ang tatanungin PARA SA IYO ITO TAMAAN KA SANA!!!!!!!!

ei...

i dont know what's wrong with you this past few weeks but you are starting to get into my nerves...so kainis...i'm always here to help...super willing but you should also help yourself....it's not because we are so concerned about you eh nagpapabaya ka na...

well it's your life...your choice...we can't do anything about it and i can't even control you...*huh* too much for freewill....

sige chance muna....adlaw nimo karon...ugma imoha ra gihapon....next week na lang ang ako...paghulat ug pagbantay lang jud...makabalos sad ko nimo....

33 things...ekek

33 things about me!!!
1.YOUR HOROSCOPE?scorpio
2. SiNGLE OR TAKEN?single....
3. IF TAKEN, BY WHO?single nga eh...
4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SERIOUSLY HURTBY THE PERSON YOU LOVE/LOVED?yup..*sob*
5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REASON iF YOUTURNED SUiCiDAL?ey!!i love my life...
6. iS SUiCiDE REALLY KiLLiNG YOURSELF?i think so..dont u?
7. PREFER COUNTRY OR CLASSiC?classic..
8. PREFER CUTE/iDiOT OR SMART/UGLY?cute and smart..
9. ARE YOU iN A STABLE RELATiONSHiPWiTH YOUR BF/GF?wla nga eh...
10. YOU`D EXPECT A TEXT MESSAGEUSUALLY FROM:people i know...quillers...friends
11. HAVE A BEST FRiEND THAT iS iN THEOPPOSiTE GENDER? WHO?yeah..
12. WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHENYOU`RE DEPRESSED?sleep as much as i can....
13. CHEERFUL OR BORiNG?my butt is always on fire...what do you think???
14. DESCRiBE A PERFECT DATE: the beach..or burger machine with the right person...
15. EVER WONDERED WHY NOBODYKNOWS WHY THE SKY iS BLUE? WHAT DOYOU THiNK?it's blue 'cause it reflects the ocean...gets???
16. EVER BEEN HURT BY LOVE? ummm...
17. WiLL YOU EVER MAKE THE SAMEMiSTAKE AGAiN? WITH LOVE???i cant say..
18. EVER HATED ANYONE LiKE HELL? yup....
19. DO YOU DO ANYTHiNG WHEN A PERSONBREAKS UP WiTH YOU AFTER ONE DAY? sleep...
20. GiVE ONE WORD THAT BESTDESCRiBES WHAT YOU`RE FEELiNG NOW: kulit...
21. DO YOU BELiEVE iN YOURSELF? yup..
22. EVER PHYSiCALLY HURT YOURSELF? i love myself...y would i do that???
23. EVER VERBALLY HURT YOURSELF?monologue sa bathroom....
24. MOTTO iN LiFE..slam book ba ito????
25. HAVE YOU EVER DOUBTED THAT slam book nga!!!
26. HAVE YOU EVER HAD *EXTRA* FEELiNGSABOUT A FRiEND FROM THE OPPOSiTEGENDER? tinatanong pa ba yan???!!!
27. iF YES, WHAT DiD YOU DO ABOUT iT? iFNO, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? wala akong paki sa kanya...di ko siya pinapansin pero kinikilig pag nakikita....hehehe....
28. iS FAME & MONEY THE MOSTiMPORTANT THiNGS iN YOUR LiFE?nope!
29. DO YOU MAKE ANY MOVEMENTS ORSOUNDS WHEN YOU`RE SLEEPiN? my mom says no...
30. ARE YOU DiFFiCULT TO WAKE UP? i'm not a morning person...what do you think??!!
31. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SLEEP?mornings...how i wish...
32. ARE YOU CONVENiENT WiTH THAT? umm....
.33. LAST, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT YOUWERE PERFECT? *huh* slam book nga!!! di ako perpekto.....yun na yon....

nakita ko lang sa myspace...kaya pinatulan ko na....hehehe..it was fun...hehehe....

birthday tradition...

i really don't know why but i have this tradition of crying the day before my birthday...i don't know but it has been happening for certain number of years now...i didn't intend to cry my heart out on that day but it just happens...certain situations will suddenly come out from nowhere that'll depress me...to the point i would even forget that my birthday is tomorrow...huh...

but then having nice set of friends to comfort me has been so nice and overwhelming.....

so crying before my birthday isn't really depressing after all...

who told you life is fair???

...i stared for about 15 mins on the screen before i realize that i actually have to type for me to post something in my blog...i really have no idea why i entitled this entry 'who told you life is fair'
*huh*
i don't know why but lately i have difficulty in putting into words what i want to say...i can't find the appropriate words [or there might be no words] to define what i am feeling right now...
[my stomach is practicing tie-knotting right now]
*sigh*
i still have my zoology paper to think about and my logic homework to do...so much for being a nursing stude again...*sigh*
the office phone is supposed to be til 5 but then there are still users...i can't just grab the phone and tell them that their priviledge is over...i wanna go home but i still have class til 6:30...so much for being a student...

a lot of people that i know is in a bad mood today...[join the club, i'm now one of them]...i know i'm supposed to think positively but my mind is just so tired to think i can't even think negatively...lotsa stuff in my brain that can drive me nuts...

eto na ulit

di ko talaga inakala na ganon yung nangyari...na ganon yung kinahinatnan nung akala ko ay masayang biro lamang...*huh*
nakakatakot isipin...sa sobrang hirap ipaliwanag eh di ko nga masabi kahit kanino...di ko nga rin alam kung pa'no sabihin na gumagamit ng mga salita...hhhaaayyy*sigh*

pwede ma-melt na lang ako...at di na lang ako mamobrelama ng ganito....
ekek masyado....*sob*

sige na rizal na....5:30 til 7:00...*sigh* pathetic subject *sigh*....

JUBE ENROLL NA!!!!!!
PARA CLASSMATE NA TAYO SA RIZAL!!!!!
BILISAN MO NA....mamaya na yung mga chicks mo...hehehehe...:p

late na ko!!!!!!!konti na lang...!!!!!

oo na grace...papunta na ko!!!!hintay lang...:p

Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair by Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.
'The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

okay..ito na naman...

i'm back....i've been so busy and had a pathetic sembreak...but i am now a nursing student so it'll be more demanding unlike when i was an english major....
first week was terrible...i only attended ONE class and there was only THREE of us who cared for the attendance...yesterday i had lotsa new acquaintances....but was not able to attend my chemistry class because of the mass for the nursing people....
now Vincent Say is pesting me again...(a new friend)...with the stufed toy he holds infront of my face...he looks like drew arellano anyway....my beejay is cutting his nails...mommy izza is sleeping....i just hope that somebody will show up...so if you're reading this..PLEASE MAGPAKITA KA NA DITO SA OFFICE!!!!!
okay....i'm not in the mood to write or post anything cute that's why puro experiences lang...
to the concerned person...MAGPAKITA KA NA SA AMIN...DI KAMI MAGAGALIT PROMISE...hehehehe...

dante..

doctor please...

i'm now a nursing student but i still can't seem to find a way how to heal this...help...
DOCTOR PLEASE...
*huh*
pathetic life...*sigh*

my pictures...

nawala ang mga pictures ko......ano bang meron o ano bang nangyari...nawala ang mga pictures ko sa photobucket....huhuhuhuhu....kawawa na ko ngayon dahil walang kabuhay-buhay ang blog ko...

nakaw daw

nako naman....
bakit naman sa dinami-dami ng mga ipo-post sa blog eh mga nakaw pa!!!!!pero diba nagaa-add siya ng buhay sa space ko...kaya magnakaw na lang?
hehehehe....
pero may mga karampatang pagkilala naman sa mga totoong nagsulat diba? hindi ko rin naman siya inaangkin....kaya hindi pa ako kailangang sumumpa na nakapatong ang kamay sa Bible...so hindi ko pa kailangan si Tito Romy....
hwag na nga sabing maginOA eh....

When We Two Parted....George Gordon, Lord Byron

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow—It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me—
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:—
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met—In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?—
With silence and tears.

pwede ba

pwede ba ako na lang ang nag-sulat nung tula...grabe pare nakakainggit siya pramis....
bakit ba may mga taong likas talagang magaling sa mga bagay na gusto nila...
kasi gusto nila yun...
hhhaaayyy.....
sumasakit na naman yung heart ko...
pano ba naman naalala ko yung patch adams...
o kasi talagang may problema na ko sa heart?
marami nang mga tabang nakapaligid sa heart ko?
highblood na ko?
o baka mild heart attack na ito...
pwede ba hwag maginOA....
hhhhaaaayyyy.....
pwede ba kasing galing din ako ni pablo neruda????
asa ka pa inah....
asa ka pa....

I do not love you... by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.


the poem from Patch Adams...made me cry my heart out...:p

biro ng tadhana

may mga pagkakataon na kung saan talagang aakalain mong napagtitripan ka ng mundo.may mga pangyayari na kung saan ay magtataka ka kung ano talaga ang ibig sabihin no'n, kung di man ay kung anong mangyayari pagkatapos.
maghapon akong maghanap ng ChocNut. buong mundo na yata binulabog ko para magka-ChocNut lang ako pero walang nangyari. naiwan ako sa isang sulok na walang kausap at wala ring ChocNut.
Bigla na lang sumagi sa isipan ko yung bagay na pilit kong binabaon sa limot. bumalik ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko at tila ang bilis ng takbo ng buhay sa paligid ko habang ako'y nakatanga at gusto ko na lang mawala.
sinubukan kong magsaya at ngumiti kasama ang mga katropa pero walang nag-iba. akala ko'y matatakpan ng mga tawanan namin ang pagkatuliro ng utak ko. hanggang sa kinailangan ko nang umuwi kaya lalo akong nalugmok sa kalungkutan ko.
habang nakasakay sa jeep napasulyap ako sa magkasintahang magkaakbay. parang nilagyan ng gabundok na bato ang puso ko. napansin kong napatulala ako sa kanila kaya binaling ko ang aking atensyon sa labas ng jeep.
naglakbay ang diwa ko at parang gusto ko na lang din lumipad kasama ng isipan ko. sana naging simple na lang ang lahat at di na siguro ganito kakumplikado ang nararamdaman ko.
pagbaba ko'y nagpasalamat ako dahil malayo-layo pa ang lalakarin ko. kaunting panahon kasama lamang ang sarili ko at ang miserableng pakiramdam ko.
di ko alintana ang mga taong nagmamadali dahil sa ambon. binibilang ko ang bawat hakbang nang bigla kong maalala ang hinahanap ng panlasa ko.
kinatok ko ang tindahan ni aling emma para bumili ng ChocNut pero sabi niya kauubos lang daw. wala akong magawa kundi maglakad muli at magbilang ng bawat hakbang ko.
lumalakas ang ulan pero di ko yun pinapansin, ang hiling ko lang makakain ako ng ChocNut at mawala na ang problema ko. may magbigay lang ng ChocNut sa akin baka mapakasalan ko siya sa tuwa.
basang-basa na ako at lalo pang lumakas ang ulan pero di ako sumilong. gusto kong damhin ang pakikiramay ng kalikasan sa akin. pero pagtapat ko sa isang botika ay isang kamay ang humatak sa akin.
tumambad sa aking harapan ang taong nasa huling bahagi ng listahan ng mga taong gusto kong makita, ang ex ko. para siyang makakita ng lumang kaibigan at walang kaabog-abog ay tinanong ako kung may balak daw ba akong magpakamatay.
hindi pa ako nakakabawi sa pagkakagulat ay ngumiti ako na para bang ordinaryo lang ang mga nangyayari. ang sagot ko sa lang sa tanong niya ay kailangan kong makauwi kaagad.
sinabihan niya akong sumilong mula at tsaka inabot ang panyo niya. kinuah ko ang panyo at nahihiyang pinunasan ko ang basang-basa kong mukha habang pinanonood ko siyang kinkapa ang bulsa niya na tila may hinahanap. paglabas ng kamay niya ay nakita ko ang biro ng tadhana sa akin.
inilapit niya sa akin ang kanyang kamay at huminto sa pag-ikot ang mundo ko.
tinignan ko siya pero di niya matunugan ang mga bagay na tumatakbo sa isipan ko. hinihintay lang niyang kunin ko ang nasa kamay niya.
yung ChocNut....

i love mickey

identity crisis

i always had a feeling that there is something wrong with me.....that a certain part of me is missing or just waiting to be discovered.but the thing is it might not be acceptable in the world which i live.
IDENTITY CRISIS is how i define this dilemma.
yes i am a girl....
but there was this instance wherein i felt something deep for this girl...
i don't know if it was admiration or infatuation but it was something that can bring butterflies in my stomach...ouch....something i wasn't accustomed to...that kind of feeling with a girl but i want to know the possibilities...
we became good friends and almost hang out everytime and anywhere....and some moments we almost treated each other like we were an item...a real couple...but not that intimate....
it felt good and at some moment it felt right...but i know that the society is not yet that ready to accept what we have...so we parted ways...
it was an awful moment in my life but i have to move on and i have to live my life "normally"....
so when i thought i got over it and i was okay with my life there comes this article on a magazine that brought back all the experiences that i want to escape....
now i just want to curl up and die...
or maybe hibernate in a very faraway land....
or migrate in a place wherein i can be john doe...
don't like this feeling....it was something that i want to forget
something i want to leave in my past...together when she said it was over...

jack

okay here's the thing...
i met jack through myspace...
then sa friendster...
wala lang
happy lang ako
kasi friend ko siya...
hehehe...

hug me please...

somebody please...
hug me...

tampo effect

tampo ako sa lahat ng mga taong di pumapansin sa akin...
lalo na ngayon medyo KSP ang mood ko....
pero ayos lang
kasi alam ko busy sila...

buhay nga naman

buhay nga naman...
minsan di mo alam kung anong makikita mo
anong malalaman mo...
mga bagay na akala mo
kaya mong bigyang kulay
bigyan ng saysay...
pag may nadiskubre ka
pakiramdam mo sa iyo na ng mundo
pakiramdam mo kaya mong gawin ang lahat
pero may hangganan ang kasiyahan
may limitasyon ang kapangyarihan...
nakalulungkot man...
walang magagawa
kundi ipagpatuloy
ang paghanap ng bagong madidiskubre
hhhaaayyy....
buhay nga naman...
...........

page 697 chapter 7

i always thought that i will always be the same girl everybody knows.that i will live my life the way i was used to...that the values and attributes that i acquired will always remain in me.
but as i grow up and explore the world on my own i've learned that there are things which can change us in a way we never thought will happen to us.
my first year in college felt like a rollercoaster ride when i suddenly had this newfound freedom.the mixed feeling of happiness and somehow superiority enveloped me as i "started living life" but just like the normal ride it also felt nauseous.the happiness came when i had new friends and environment.superiority because i left highschool and the childish gimmicks attached to it while nauseous because i can consume more alcoholic substance than before (and also have a puke party after).
i had no control of myself that time that's why i flunked my way out of my first course then shifted to a course which is close to what i want.
with more time to waste i get myself involved in the student publication and making myself more than just "being aware" of the things that are happening around me.it opened my eyes on the real happenings in the society and the knowledge makes me want to do something about it.
the old me was transformed to someone who see and think different from other people.somebody who is not satisfied on knowing the truth but doing what i think is the right thing to do about it.somebody who has a purpose and role in the society...
not all the people around me are happy about my changes and it hurts me because i am satisfied with what's happening to me.but what hurts me the most is that the people that really matters to me are not that supportive to the path that i chose to take.
i don't know where will this rollercoaster ride bring me nor when will this venture end but as time goes by i have learned to put my hands on the air and enjoy the ride...and sometimes i scream for more of this adrenaline rush.
and when all these ends another chapter will open in my life.it will no longer be page 697 chapter 7 but page 954 chapter 8.

wherever you will go

i'm so bad...

i'm so bad...
i stole jhabby's photo...
para may mai-post lang ako sa photobucket...andon din si alex band...
so bad na inindian ko ang mama ko sa usapan namin...pero i feel guilty kasi i told her that i'm goin home....
i'm so bad...
but on the contrary......
i'm so good...
i helped someone with her assignment...
yun lang...
so much for this crap...
this is tamara...
signing off...

justice

di ko makita yung sinasabi nilang justice sa buhay...kung meron man eh baka wala ako nun...di ko rin alam kung hanggang saan ang pasensya ko sa mga taong walang ibangv gustong gawin kundi kontrolin ang pesteng buhay na 'to....bakit kaya ganun?di ko naman sila pinapakialaman sa mga buhay nila bakit ako dinadamay nila sa kalokohan nila...alam ko walang pinatutnguhan itong mga pinagsasasabi k kaya mabuti na siguro tigilan ko na lang ito...medyo nakaka-loko na siyang tignan at basahin...salamat na lang at walang nagbabasa nito kundi ako lang...ang hirap...nampucha...minsan gusto ko na lang maging manhid....para wala nang hassle a di na talaga ko masasaktan....wala talgang justice sa mundo ko...baka sa iba meron...pwede kaya akong makahingi?kahit konti lang....ang hirap kasi ng ganito eh....pahingi ng justice.............

life sucks

life sucks!!!!
why?
well...i have discovered that my boyfriend blown up somebody's tummy
another thing my dad is so strict
to the point that he is so unreasonable
hello???this is my life...
and i ended up here....
crying my heart out....
what did i do...
why me????
shit
life sucks!!!!

galit lang ako....

nabubuhay ako sa mundo na kung saan hindi ako pwedeng magpakita ng kahit anumang emosyon.....ang bawat kilos ko ay idinidikta ng mga taong iniisip na sila ay "perpekto"...di pwedeng magalit, matuwa o malungkot...nais nila akong gawing manhid sa kung anumang emosyon na meron sa puso ko....nakakasakal at di na ko makahinga...kailangan daw gawin ang "DAPAT" dahil yun daw ang "MABUTI" para sa akin...dinesenyuhan na nila ang buhay ko at ginuhit sa kung anumang nais nilang KALABASAN KO...pero sa kanilang pagkadismaya...lumihis ako sa landas na inihanda nila sa akin kaya ngayon lahat ng paraan na maisip nila ay ginagawa nila upang ibalik ako sa DAPAT KO RAW KALAGYAN.....minsan sumasagi na lang sa isip ko na kung ano ba ang nagawa ko at ganito ang kinalabasan ng buhay ko.....nakakapagod na..... kaya pakiramdam ko....nabubuhay pa ba ko????

Naa na gyud ko!!!!

well wala ra gyud koy lingaw sa world karon so mao ni ang akong gibuhat....thanks to dax niexist na gyud ko!!!!!hehehehe!!!!!!well.....bear with me pipol kase i'm such a pathetic creature to the point na weird gyud akong life.....that's it!!!!