Wednesday, April 30, 2008

napapamasaya

it was almost past midnight when we were talking about craziness and stuffs...i whispered in your ear...'alam mo napapamasaya mo ako'...we both laughed because there's no such word but we know what it means and what i want to say to you...then you smiled, the sweetest smile this world have seen and then you graced my whole existence...we were staring at the stars and naming it...you held my hand then tears fell from my eyes...you gently wiped it and told me you'll never leave me and i am a great friend...

you're the only thing that's right in my life right now...you know what's in my heart and what i feel for you...you know that but you chose for us to remain friends...leaving me clueless and out of place...it leaves me in oblivion as you promise to take care of me yet won't love me the way i want to...

the call you made now left me confused...you greeted me with 'hello girlfriend' and i said 'hi boyfriend' and ended the call with 'can't wait to see you'...am i still a friend?

now am staring at you as we discuss an important event and as you look at me you gave me a wink then i just gave you a faint smile...am searching in your eyes where i am in your life...it's tearing every bit of me that i can't say it to you, can't ask it to you...

my heart is like a bowl of marble scattered all over the floor...you are helping me pick up the pieces and now that the bowl is almost full again, will you just walk away after making me feel full again?

but then again, 'napapamasaya mo ako diba?'

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

yuan, pypai, karen and michael

yuan...

saw him again today...i was surprised that he was not wearing a cap ( i always tease him and calls him 'april boy yuan')...i really like his new hair...he smiled a lot, laughed a lot...shouted a lot (at me ofcourse, arrrggggghhhhh) and made my arm bleed cause he pinched me sooooo hard...but no worries cause i bit him in return!!!!wahehehehe....but all in all i had fun hanging out with him again...i miss him and our kulitans...

pypai and karen

whe will i see you two???you have been in manila for a while and still we haven't had the chance to just hang...i miss our cebu days...i miss our fun time together and our all nighters...i miss working with bright minds like you girls...loveyah both...i hope we just stayed that way...i know i cannot keep you forever for we all belong to the people that we serve...

michael...

after a while i saw your name in my inbox...i missed seeing your endless smileys and our all nighter kulitans...i really wanna see you and hang out with you soon...together with your sis...miss yah both...

to bestfriend...you know what i wanna say na...hahaaaaayyyyy....

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

52 things about me...

1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be?
......si bestfriend...yeah so dawson's creek mode
2 . When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
.....isn't it left at the counter or parking lot?
3. If you had to kiss again the last person you kissed, would you?
.....yeah....
4. Do you take compliments well?
.....it really depends on what kind of comment
5. Do you play Sudoku?
....i even downloaded it in my phone...so fun and 'mind bottling'
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
....as long as i have my cellphone and it is under coverage
7 . If your house were on fire, what would be the thing you would save?
....my important docus...and the pc!lolz
8. Who was the last person you slept in the bed with?
.....little bro maui...
9. Who do you text the most now?
.....am kinda into gtxt mode...so i text everyone in my phonebook...lolz
10 . Favorite children's book?
.....the chronicles of narnia
11 . Eye color?
.....dark brown?
12. How tall are you?
.....5'5
13. If you could do it over again,start from scratch, would you
.....errrrr...huh?
14. Any secret admirers?
.....if it is a secret how can i know it...darn...
15. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
.....where the **** is that?!
16. Favorite ex..?
.....the exes that i am in friendly terms right now...nathan and merwin
17. Where was the farthest place you traveled?
....i think davao and then surigao if dito sa pinas....sunnyside ny....
18. Do you like mustard?
....in my hotdog sandwich...yeah....
19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
....i like doing both....
21. Do you miss anyone?
....yeah...
22. Can you do splits?
.....before in the field grounds of st.scho...hahaaaayyyy...elementary days....
23. What movie do you want to see right now?
....prince caspian...when are they gonna show it?!
24 . What did you do for New Year's Eve?
....fireworks display in san fernando la union
25 . Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
....yeah...but i think all horror films are crappy...
27. Was your mom a cheerleader?
....yeah...and so was i...deym...whatever happened to my figure
28. What's the last letter of your middle name?
....O
30. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
....i sleep during wee hours of the morning...heheehe
35. What do you wear to sleep?
....oversized shirts...
37. Is your hair straight or curly?
....straight...sometimes wavy...
40. Do you like funny or serious people better?
....seriously funny people...
42 . What is on your mind right now?
....the project that i was offered....
43 . Any plans 4 tonight?
....finish full house..so that i can finally understand what was the full house craze was all about...i know i am 3 years late of watching it...
44 . Whats your fav. song at the moment?
....inside the mind of a killer...am so close to being one...
45 . Do you hate chocolate?
....am made of genetics and chocolate...so what do you think?
46 . What do you and your parents fight about the most?
...with me and my mom...my sleeping habits...with my parents...they can't fight if the other one is dead right?
47. Are you a stupid person?
.....am stupid...that's why i wanna learn...
48. Do you need a boyfriend/girl friend to be happy ?
....it depends...i need my girlfriends though...cause it is just sooo fun to be with them...
49 . If you could have any job what would it be?
....a field reporter or writer...i wanna be on the streets where the action is...
50. Are you easy to get along with?
....i think so...cause am literally a talkative person...
51. What is your favorite time of day?
....very early in the morning...like a little past midnight...that's when my mind works...
52 . Are you generally a happy person?
.....yeah...i laugh about anything and everything...


a friend posted the questions in the bulletin board of friendster...it was fun doing this...hehehehe

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

everything

smallville season 1 episode 1...

hahaaaaayyyyy...


text craze

i loved him before...but now i dunno...

i was texting with my good friend and everything just turned awkward and weird...it all started fine until he said...

friend: di lang talaga for me ang lovelife. pero happy naman ako kasi anjan ka na super friend ko
inah: ano ako may super powers?as in super friend?lolz
friend: kaw lang kasi nakakapagpatawa sa akin lately, salamat po ha?
inah: asus, ikaw pah...tanga lang kasi ex mo at pinakawalan ka niya...bait mo kaya...and u deserve to be treated differently...bad xa! lika hug na lang kita...
friend: awww...ur so sweet...thanks ah! ganyan ka ba talaga?
inah: ngayon mo lang napansin? sweet ako sa lahat...kaya smile ka na lang...
friend: eto na smiling na po! sana magkantahan ulit tayo at maligo sa ulan
inah: oo nga miss ko na yun..wala na kasing ulan ngayon...
friend: alam mo naman na ikaw ang bestfriend ko diba?
inah: nabili mo kasi ako sa chocomallows kaya mo ko bestfriend
friend: hindi, andito ka sa heart ko kaya kita bestfriend.
inah****di nakareply****
friend: sana makita rin ni ***** kung anu man ang nakikita mo sa akin...para kahit papano love niya rin ako
inah****wala ng planong magreply****

after this i had the urge of eating ice cream...walked towards the nearest mini stop and bought my best comfort food...then cried silently...

now he'll know what i feel for him...if by any chance di niya mabasa ito forever then i'll be forever grateful...

i made him laugh, sing and dance in the rain...but his heart never became mine...

Monday, April 21, 2008

-insomia-

gusto kitang makasama
gusto kitang yakapin
sa silong ng mahiwagang kalangitan
sa ilalim ng ningning ng mga bituin
gusto kong damhin
ang init ng iyong yapos
ang pintig ng iyong puso
ang tamis ng iyong halik

gusto kong ikulong ka sa aking mga braso
huwag kang pakawalan
hanggang sa maramdaman mo
na nabubuhay ako para sa iyo

nais kong ipunin ang bawat sandali
na yakap kita, na nasa tabi kita
nais kong marinig mula sa iyo
ang mga salita ng pagsinta
nais kong hilahin ang mga araw
para sa itinakdang panahon
na sa wakas ay kasama ka na