x marks the spot

you hit me where it matters the most and x marks the spot

i know i was a fool. fools do stupid things and i've had my share. all because i was so afraid of being hurt again... or perhaps being hurt for the first time.

there are little children i know that are afraid of the dark because they do not want to see things in it. so afraid of something they have not even seen, that they literally fall apart if left alone by themselves. i never though that i could be so much like a child. when i lost you that was when i finally realized what i was...

yes, i was afraid of being hurt. i have read too many novels about love, heard too many friends' love stories, seen them break down right before my very eyes. told myself, as much as i can i would never want to be like that. i am mature and strong, and even minded enough not to fall into that snake pit. so i made very long wooden stakes, concrete walls as high as they could go. they were suppose to keep all else out... but they ended up keeping me in.

so one day you came and i did not notice much of you. just another face in the crowd. how wrong i was. a year later you were still with me, showing me that gem of a heart of yours. i got confused and set to distance away...

and just in time to realize what it was. the thing that i was distancing myself was what i was needing. you showed me how much you love me by letting me go... and my heart melted, right then and there.

i am not as blue as before, i smile every now and then. the reason is that something hit me. and X marks the spot.