napapamasaya

it was almost past midnight when we were talking about craziness and stuffs...i whispered in your ear...'alam mo napapamasaya mo ako'...we both laughed because there's no such word but we know what it means and what i want to say to you...then you smiled, the sweetest smile this world have seen and then you graced my whole existence...we were staring at the stars and naming it...you held my hand then tears fell from my eyes...you gently wiped it and told me you'll never leave me and i am a great friend...

you're the only thing that's right in my life right now...you know what's in my heart and what i feel for you...you know that but you chose for us to remain friends...leaving me clueless and out of place...it leaves me in oblivion as you promise to take care of me yet won't love me the way i want to...

the call you made now left me confused...you greeted me with 'hello girlfriend' and i said 'hi boyfriend' and ended the call with 'can't wait to see you'...am i still a friend?

now am staring at you as we discuss an important event and as you look at me you gave me a wink then i just gave you a faint smile...am searching in your eyes where i am in your life...it's tearing every bit of me that i can't say it to you, can't ask it to you...

my heart is like a bowl of marble scattered all over the floor...you are helping me pick up the pieces and now that the bowl is almost full again, will you just walk away after making me feel full again?

but then again, 'napapamasaya mo ako diba?'