napapamasaya

it was almost past midnight when we were talking about craziness and stuffs...i whispered in your ear...'alam mo napapamasaya mo ako'...we both laughed because there's no such word but we know what it means and what i want to say to you...then you smiled, the sweetest smile this world have seen and then you graced my whole existence...we were staring at the stars and naming it...you held my hand then tears fell from my eyes...you gently wiped it and told me you'll never leave me and i am a great friend...

you're the only thing that's right in my life right now...you know what's in my heart and what i feel for you...you know that but you chose for us to remain friends...leaving me clueless and out of place...it leaves me in oblivion as you promise to take care of me yet won't love me the way i want to...

the call you made now left me confused...you greeted me with 'hello girlfriend' and i said 'hi boyfriend' and ended the call with 'can't wait to see you'...am i still a friend?

now am staring at you as we discuss an important event and as you look at me you gave me a wink then i just gave you a faint smile...am searching in your eyes where i am in your life...it's tearing every bit of me that i can't say it to you, can't ask it to you...

my heart is like a bowl of marble scattered all over the floor...you are helping me pick up the pieces and now that the bowl is almost full again, will you just walk away after making me feel full again?

but then again, 'napapamasaya mo ako diba?'

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

yuan, pypai, karen and michael

yuan...

saw him again today...i was surprised that he was not wearing a cap ( i always tease him and calls him 'april boy yuan')...i really like his new hair...he smiled a lot, laughed a lot...shouted a lot (at me ofcourse, arrrggggghhhhh) and made my arm bleed cause he pinched me sooooo hard...but no worries cause i bit him in return!!!!wahehehehe....but all in all i had fun hanging out with him again...i miss him and our kulitans...

pypai and karen

whe will i see you two???you have been in manila for a while and still we haven't had the chance to just hang...i miss our cebu days...i miss our fun time together and our all nighters...i miss working with bright minds like you girls...loveyah both...i hope we just stayed that way...i know i cannot keep you forever for we all belong to the people that we serve...

michael...

after a while i saw your name in my inbox...i missed seeing your endless smileys and our all nighter kulitans...i really wanna see you and hang out with you soon...together with your sis...miss yah both...

to bestfriend...you know what i wanna say na...hahaaaaayyyyy....