currently busy procrastinating

Hubert's personal letter to De lima

2011-01-21T05:02:00.000-08:00

It takes many years of blood, sweat, and tears to build a good life, and only one malicious accusation to shatter a life to pieces. -Hubert Jeffrey P. Webb

Dear Secretary De Lima,

I am most concerned by recent directives coming from your good office, in line with the reinvestigation of the Vizconde case, of which I was a co-accused. I, with six others, were exonerated by the Supreme Court on December 14, 2010, after being wrongfully imprisoned for 15 years. The happiness and magnanimity I felt upon my vindication was short-lived. I thought my nightmare has ended. I had hoped to be integrated slowly back into society, but sadly and alarmingly, I am being dragged into the same nightmare again.

It takes many years of blood, sweat, and tears to build a good life, and only one malicious accusation to shatter a life to pieces. You cannot imagine the agony and disbelief I felt when I was adjudged guilty by the lower courts for a crime I did not commit. Everyday was a struggle to keep my sanity intact, and keep the hurt and despair at bay. I believed that justice will eventually come my way, even after I was burnt twice, for my faith in God and my family was even more steadfast. My family has suffered immensely for many years from this unceasing persecution and character assassination. We have lost so much. I have lost my youth and my dreams. My name is all I have now.

As an advocate of human rights, I implore you to consider all the evidence we presented that unmistakably proves my innocence. I should not have to go through this again. Fifteen years ago, I should have been guaranteed the right to due process and the presumption of innocence, both of which were flagrantly disregarded and denied me during the trial. Article 10 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights clearly states that “Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.” In any criminal trial except self-defense, the burden of proof rests on the prosecution. It is not the burden of the defense to prove a man innocent. The Supreme Court acting on my appeal, has decided that the prosecution has failed to establish guilt beyond reasonable doubt. Since I should have been presumed innocent to begin with, my innocence should therefore stand and remain secure on my acquittal. Why then, have so many people reverted to that guilty presumption when they mention my name?

Mr. Vizconde and his supporters have been engaging in machinations, insinuations, and the flagrant distortions of facts by focusing doggedly and too aggressively in trying to pin the blame on me, instead of looking for the real killers. I cannot be tried for the same offense because it would violate the principle of Double Jeopardy, but they can cast doubts on my innocence and destroy any chance I have of living a peaceful and normal life. It is unfair because I cannot confront in court these accusers and the new witnesses that are materializing from out of the blue after almost 2 decades. I am being condemned by the public on mere speculations and conjectures, and sometimes, my facial expressions and reactions. They welcome neither fact nor evidence if it would absolve me.

Though it is getting to be emotionally taxing, I have always tried to keep my composure and face my accusers with dignity and courage. For I know the truth, even if others hide from it or ignore it. And there is nothing so clear and simple as the truth. I was 8000 miles away when that heinous crime happened. Normally, before criminal charges would even be considered, the whereabouts of a suspect at the time of the crime, known as an alibi, should be verified. If it checks out, then investigators would move on to other leads and suspects. This is what the former NBI directors Epimaco Velasco and Alfredo Lim had the good judgment to do, but Mariano Mison failed to do. It is not as if I did not have mounds of evidence, testimonial and documentary. I had both Philippine and US immigration records, airline records, passport, check payments while working in California, my US driver's license, videos, purchase receipts, and 95 credible and upstanding witnesses to back up my alibi. On the other hand, there is not a shred of physical evidence that would link me to this crime, just one incredible and inconsistent testimonial evidence from Jessica Alfaro, whom the Supreme Court has ascertained to be an NBI informant and a drug addict. All the NBI needed to do was check out my alibi, for the law of physics would dictate that I could not possibly be in two places simultaneously. It was as simple as that. When the NBI and DOJ headed by Teofisto Guingona asked help from the US government to investigate and verify, they did so and issued a note verbale lending credence to my alibi. How can this certification from the US government, signed by then Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, be tampered when they themselves requested it? Going against ethical standards, this document was hidden from my defense lawyers and the public. This act trampled over my rights and obstructed justice. Withholding evidence could also be applied when the prosecution tried to suppress the existence of Alfaro's first sworn statement dated April 28, 1995. Justice Sereno, in a separate concurring opinion dated December 14, 2010 thus stated, "Some examples of prosecutorial misconduct would be the intimidation of defense witnesses, the obstruction of defense lawyers’ access to prosecution witnesses, the coercion of confession from the accused, the issuance of prejudicial comments about the accused, the mishandling and/or withholding of evidence, and the failure to preserve evidence." The very same people sworn to protect the innocent and uphold the law, were the very ones who violated them.

Judge Tolentino set the tone for my conviction when she threw away the 132 documentary evidence I had, denied the motion for deposition of witnesses residing in the United States, and denied my request for the DNA test and polygraph test. Ignoring potentially exculpatory evidence, cast doubts on her impartiality, The prosecution opposing potentially inculpatory evidence, defied logical reasoning. Losing the semen sample, violating my right to due process again, was the last of a series of acts that clearly show a pattern to incriminate me. My innocence would shine like a beacon if people would only accept the fact that I was a victim of injustice too.

The Supreme Court already found Jessica Alfaro to be incredible and her testimony to be riddled with holes. She cannot change her testimony. If she adds further embellishments, then her repute as a fabricator would be sealed even more. Having said that, I welcome any course of action that would help clear my name, and since you have included me in this reinvestigation, when I have already been acquitted, it is only fair that you include all my accusers also. I am determined to know the reasons behind these tenacious efforts to incriminate me.

The past two governments did not seem interested in real justice for this gruesome crime. This new government and your outstanding reputation as a lawyer gives me hope that I can live normally and freely. My lawyers and I, are making ourselves available to you and only you, should you have any questions that need clarification. May I humbly request the following from you? It will help clear my name, and the government will waste no more time and utilize fewer resources in finding the real perpetrators of the crime.

1. We have submitted numerous documents to show I was in the USA. A re-examination and an authentication of these documents will speed up the investigation. The Supreme Court has confirmed the veracity of these documents. Maybe a few phone calls to proper authorities can reconfirm and authenticate these documents.

2. In the spirit of fairness, if you have agents working in the USA looking for Filart, Ventura, and Alfaro, they might as well interview the following people to support the authenticity of these documents as well as my whereabouts. [–list of people]

3. Please take a look at Jessica Alfaro’s two conflicting affidavits, and investigate why she has two affidavits. There are court records also of her cross examination by our lawyers.

I hope you would report to the press and media the results of your investigation of my three concerns above. It is very frustrating and distressing that the name Hubert Webb is still being reviled as a killer and a rapist. I understand the clamor for heads to roll for this horrific crime, but why should it be my head again? It would be more prudent to look at other suspects. I hope you find probable cause to make an arrest before the period of prescription expires in 5 1/2 months. I am one with the entire nation in praying that justice and truth for the Vizconde victims be fully realized.

Hoping for the best and may God bless you.

Sincerely,

Hubert Jeffrey P. Webb

...writer's block no more :)

2010-12-28T09:06:00.001-08:00

I've been watching my cursor blink for minutes now before I had the guts to type something. I have been at the Facebook group Justice for Hubert Webb for more than a month and I argued, debated, got frustrated, laughed and even cried together with the rest of the members. Am quite surprised that as I claim to be a passionate writer that I haven't posted something about the case. This might be long overdue but I guess better late than never, right?!

I was barely 6 when the infamous Vizconde massacre happened, back then pictures of the victims weren't censored so the vision of them got stuck in my young mind. I was 10 when Jessica Alfaro surfaced with her testimony and pointing at Hubert Webb as the mastermind together with his "gang", as young as I was my gut feeling said there is something strange about her so I wasn't convinced with her story. I was even mobbed by some classmates for siding with the Webbs in one of our Araling Panlipunan debates. I was 15 when the guilty verdict was given by Judge Amelita Tolentino, I was puzzled when people were rejoicing with the verdict but something in me keeps on saying that there is something wrong.

Thank heavens for the world wide web and Facebook that I was given the chance to search for the truth. By joining the group I was able to answer if not all then most of my questions about the case. These are the major factors that solidified my instinct that Hubert Webb is innocent (take note I didn't say not guilty but innocent) :

First. Law of Physics says it all. One cannot be in two places at once. Hubert was in the USA when the gruesome killings happened so it is impossible for him to be at the Philippines on the same day. Every document needed were presented to prove his alibi but the prosecution discredited it by merely saying that the Webbs are so powerful & rich that they can fabricate & falsify the said documents, heck even Judge Tolentino herself said those. They even attempted to hide the note verbal that was issued by the US Government and signed by Madelaine Albright, the Secretary of State. The procurement of the said document was never informed to the Webbs.

Okay, for the sake of argument that Hubert did came back to the Philippines to perform the crime and come back to the US right after. let us see how will be considering the time difference of US & Philippines.

Mt. Pinatubo erupted on June 15, 1991. If we can all recall, the ash fall lasted quite awhile and many airline flights were cancelled. And let's say, for the sake of argument, there were no ash fall that time and Hubert did not buy the Cannodale bike (with a lifetime warranty may I just add) on June 30, 1991. According to his work ledger, his last day of work for the month of June was on the 28th of June, 1991, a Friday. Daylight Saving Time is used in the US on June. And on Pacific Daylight Saving Time, the Philippines is ahead of California by 15 hours. Let's say Hubert got off work at 5 pm, Pacific Daylight Saving Time on June 28, 1991, which would be 8 am, June 29, 1991 in the Philippines. He then goes straight to the airport and the plane leaves at 8 pm Daylight Saving time. If he takes a Philippine Airlines flight, it would be approximately 16 hours with a stop in Guam. (And if you take China Airlines, for example, the total duration could be 17 hours, with a one hour layover time). Let's use the 16-hour flight. By the time his plane arrives in Manila, it would have been 3 am already on June 30, 1991, Manila time. The crime would have already been committed at tapos na makipag-session si JA with her imaginary friends at the Alabang parking lot.

I know most of the people say that an alibi is the weakest form of defense but let me tell everyone for the nth time that an alibi that is backed up with solid evidences such as documents, videos and eye witness accounts by morally upright people is enough to say that someone is innocent. But why did it took 15 years for them to decide if indeed Hubert was in the USA when it all happened? I must say conspiracy between Mison, Tolentino, Guingona, Cayetano and all the others who pulled the strings as this puppet show manipulated the minds and emotions of the people.

Second. DNA. I know that this wasn't the basis of the Supreme Court for the acquittal and not an actual DNA test was performed but still this is an important factor on the case.

Semen sample was taken from the body of Carmela Vizconde and it is under the custody & safe keeping of NBI. Unlikely to what other people know, the Webbs requested for a DNA test back in 1997 but was surprisingly objected by the prosecution saying that the sample weren't preserved well and more surprising is the judge sustained the objection adding that the DNA test will just complicate the case and the result is irrelevant that even if it is not Hubert's sperm it doesn't mean he did not kill the Vizcondes.

But let us keep in mind, would a guilty person in his right mind offer his DNA sample? If you are the real perpetrator and a semen sample is available then wouldn't you do anything to avoid the dreaded DNA test? And as for the prosecution, in the aim of wanting to know the true criminals isn't something as solid as a DNA result a major factor for the quest for truth?

Now that the NBI conviniently lost the said semen sample then more suspicions are surfacing. Did they purposely lose the specimen since the Supreme Court ordered for the DNA testing and they know for sure that it is not Hubert's? Who were the ones who didn't want the DNA test to happen? Surely it is not the Webbs.

Third. Jessica Alfaro's loopholes. Her character alone is already questionable. How much more if she made two sworn affidavits, completely different from each other. How could one believe such crooked and unrealistic witness. And if you are indeed a close friend of the accused will it take you 40 minutes to identify them inside a courtroom?

These are some examples of the inconsistencies of the affidavits she swore on:
(from http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=115489978501905#!/topic.php?uid=115489978501905&topic=105 )

On whether Alfaro knew Carmela before the incident in question

First Affidavit: She had NOT met Carmela before June 29, 1991.

Second Affidavit: "I met her in a party sometime in February, 1991."

On whether Alfaro saw the dead bodies

First Affidavit: She did not see the three dead persons on that night. She just said "on the following day I read in the newspaper that there were three persons who were killed . . ."

Second Affidavit: "I peeped through the first door on the left. I saw two bodies on top of the bed, bloodied, and in the floor, I saw Hubert on top of Carmela."

On the alleged rape of Carmela Vizconde

First Affidavit: She did not see the act of rape.

Second Affidavit: She saw Hubert Webb "with bare buttocks, on top of Carmela and pumping, her mouth gagged and she was moaning and I saw tears on her eyes."

On how Webb, Lejano, and Ventura entered the Vizconde house

First Affidavit: "by jumping over the fence, which was only a little more than a meter high."

Second Affidavit: They "entered the gate which was already open."

On whether Alfaro entered the Vizconde house

First Affidavit: She never entered the house.

Second Affidavit: "I proceeded to the iron grill gate leading to the dirty kitchen."

She had nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain when she testified against Hubert et al. She gained publicity, money, movie deal, celebrity status, freedom for her drug convicted brother and even a husband since she married her former NBI escort. Her ulterior motives are so clear and it is such a wonder why the prosecution, Tolentino and the Court of Appeals believed in her.

To be honest there are a lot more things that will convince someone that Hubert is innocent. Prominent and morally upright people that attests to his innocence. People that has everything to lose & nothing to gain believed in him because it is the truth.

Yes, I may be young when all these things happened but never will I let my age be a hindrance for me to take a stand and stay on the side of truth. I am gifted by the Lord with wisdom to discern what is right from wrong that's why I clearly can say that Hubert Webb is innocent.

I do not need to swear on someone's grave to prove that this is true. I know that when I face our Creator, I will be able to say to Him confidently that on this case, I was on the side of truth. Do I need to prove more?

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS "THE HUBERT WEBB CASE"

2010-12-28T08:04:00.000-08:00

by Nikki Luna

FAQS

The paramount purpose of a trial is to make sure that convictions are made fairly and accurately. Court decisions should be made SOLELY on verified facts and sound testimony.

In law, there is absolutely no room for speculation.

here are the answers to the most frequently asked questions. These show that Hubert’s innocence cannot be disputed.

Q: Does Hubert really know Carmela?

A: NO, he never met her. They do not know each other. And not a single person testified against this fact aside from Alfaro.

Q: Was he ever a suitor?

A: NO, he was never Carmela’s suitor. And he went as far as saying he never met her. Hubert does not know Carmela.

Q: Does Hubert know Jessica Alfaro?

A: Definitely NOT. And again not a single person testified to the fact that he met Alfaro.

Q: Is it true that Hubert is “barkada” with the other suspects?

A: NO. The only ones he knew whom Alfaro implicated in the crime were Pyke Fernandez who was Hubert’s good friend and Miguel Rodriguez who was an acquaintance he met through basketball.

Q: Is it true that the accused are a circle of friends?

A: No.

Q: Is it true that a maid actually washed a bloodied shirt?

A:No. Court records that the maid was not employed by the Webbs at the time of the Vizonde massacre. This was corroborated by the testimony of the owner of the agency from where the maid was hired.

Q: Where was Hubert On June 30, 1991?

A: Hubert was in the United States. He was in Orange Cycles, a bike store in Orange County , CA. Hubert bought a Cannondale bike from owner John Pavlisin. The bicycle is still in possession of the Webbs to this day.

Q:What evidence was presented by Hubert?

1. record of departure including ticket, ticket receipt,(with accompanying testimony from raja tours owner Bibay Nolasco), airline manifest (with accompanying testimony from a northwest airline official), passport with departure stamp from the Bureau of Immigration

2. record of entry which includes an F.B.I. report, a note verbal issued by the U.S. government signed by Secretary of State Madeline Albright stating that Hubert Webb was in the U.S. Testified to by no less than both Foreign Affairs Secretary Domingo Siazon and Consul General Leo Herrera Lim

(certification from US Immigration and naturalization service signed (w seal) by Madelaine Albright, Warren Christopher and Atty. General Janet Reno verified proofs/documents by US state secretary (Albright) and FBI (Bob Heafner)

3. records of his stay which include:

Videos - one in Disneyland (testified to by a complete stranger who saw Freddie Webb and decided to take his video, with Hubert seen on the background). Another at Lake Tahoe where he was seen playing in the snow. And lastly, another video at a cousins wedding ceremony.

Records of employment in the form of several encashed checks in his name Hubert Jeffrrey Webb before and after the crime.

California Drivers License aquired during his stay, certified by the Department of Motor Vehicles California. Dozens of eyewitness accounts all of which were excecuted by members of society all of which have much to lose had they perjured themselves in court. The more prominent ones, Entertainer Gary Valenciano and Supreme Court Justice Antonio Carpio who also testified that he knew that Hubert was in the U.S, based on his conversations with Freddie Webb who was in the U.S. right before the time of the incident.

4. records of his departure from the U.S. which includes again the certification from the U.S. stating his date of departure, airline manifest testified by an authority from Philippine Airlines and passport showing entry into the Philippines. These only prove he was in the United States four months prior and fifteen months after the massacre occured. Hubert has only one record of going to the U.S. He left Manila on March 1991 and arrived back to the Philippines October 1992.

Q: How come the evidence/proofs/documents etc. were junked by the court without the necessary justification?

A:Because the judge was in cahoots with the prosecution to put 7 innocent people in jail. To be able to “solve” a crime. Completely disregarding their rights.

Q: Do the Webbs know Biong? Was he really a driver/bodyguard of the Webbs?

A:No. Not one member of the Webb family has ever met nor seen Biong prior to Jessica Alfaro’s story.

Q: Did the Webbs asked for a DNA test? When?

A:The Webbs asked for a DNA test way back in 1997. The prosecution strangely objected to the test on the grounds that the samples “maybe” contaminated. Even more strange, the judge sustained their objection. The Supreme Court recently allowed a DNA test, but the NBI and the trial court have been trading accusations on who is in possession of the DNA sample. Unfortunately, neither the NBI nor the trial court could produce the semen sample.

Q: Did the Webbs ask for a lie detector test? When?

A:Yes, as early as when Jessica came out with her story the Webbs challenged her to take a lie detector test. And Jessica Alfaro refused on the basis that this was not admissible in court. Please note that Hubert was willing to take a lie detector test at anytime to prove his innocence.

Q: Are the Webbs related to any Supreme Court judges?

A:No. Contrary to Mr. Vizconde’s claims, Elizabeth Webb is not related to Justice Carpio’s wife (who happens to be Vietnamese). Elizabeth webb is from Batangas.

Q: Are they connected to the FBI? Secretary of State? UNCIS? BI? Etc.

A: Absolutely not.

Q: What about the security guards who supposedly "saw" Hubert Webb?

A: Both security guards surfaced 4 years after the crime conveniently after jessica alfaro surfaced to corroborate her story..During the thorough investigation of the NBI n the PNP, no mention was ever made concerning the security guards. Since they were not self confessed drug addicts like Alfaro shouldn't they have reported this discovery to the authorities as soon as Hubert Webb was made a suspect as early as 1991?

Q: How long did Hubert Webb stay in the United States?

A: Hubert Webb was in the United States from March 9, 1991 to October 26, 1992

God's Gracious Gift

2010-01-23T06:01:00.000-08:00

This is my four month old baby... This baby is the most amazing, wonderful and gracious gift to me by God... The first time I saw the figure my heart swelled up with joy and happiness... I was thinking, this is my baby and I will do everything in my power to make everything well, to be deserving of this kind of gift.

To my dearest baby,

You have changed my life in so many different ways today. You are worth all of the sacrifices and all of the things I've been through. I will never regret choosing you over my own happiness. You are and will forever be among the best thing life has given me. You are my own personal miracle. You don't even have to do anything to give me so much happiness except to beat your heart. Soon you will be moving your hands and your feet. You have no idea how much I am looking forward on meeting you, how excited I am to feel you in my arms, how I want to watch you sleep and to hear your soft breathing. You are the reason why I want to make things right and for me to be a better person.

The only thing I am scared of is to not being there for you. The only thing I am afraid of is when the time comes that I will not be there to protect you nor make you feel that I do not love you. I want you to know that loved you from the very first time I knew I will be having you. My whole being is over flowing with love that I have for you.

It will be just five months and I will be able to look into your face and thank God for each moment that I am blessed to have you in my life. I want you to know that God has been gracious to me that despite of all the shortcomings that I had He gave me the most precious gift which is you. I love you always and beyond forever.

a daughter's love letter

2009-10-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Papa,

It has been 3 years since you went back to the loving arms of God. I am at peace knowing that you are with Him. I wouldn't say that I am happy but thinking selfishly, I wish that we were given more time.

Papa I see your traces everywhere I look. There are a lot of things I wish I could say to you. I miss looking into your eyes and say 'estiopek'. I miss your hands, your voice, your advices, our story telling time, our 'walkings', our bonding, your hug and most of all, I miss hearing you say you love me.

I have lots of things I wish I could tell you right now. Papa, I am sorry if it often cross my mind that I don't need teaching in my life. I am sorry if I thought that you're correcting my mistakes just to humiliate me. I would give anything and everything to hear your advice on how to live my life. Papa i just realized that the more I grow up, the more that I need your guidance. I came to the point where I would look up in the sky and ask silently all the things that I wanna ask you. I often think, what would be your opinion about things and about my decisions. Papa even if I know that you cannot physically see what I am now, I wish that whatever I am and whatever I'll become that you'll be proud of me. I wish people could see that I am really your daughter through and through.

Papa I never thanked you enough on how much you loved all of us. You are the only person that I know in this world who have the capability to love as much as you did. Thank you for giving us your best and for being my superhero...for being much more than that. I thank God that i was born to be your daughter, because He gave me a father who loves me unconditionally. You are and will always be my first love. And I am going to make sure that i would let my future children know how amazing their Lolo's capacity to love people. I am hoping that I could somehow be like that.

Papa I know in time we will see each other again. I'll be able to see you eyes, your smile and hear your voice again. And when that time comes, we have eternity to talk about things and let each other feel how much we love each other. I am looking forward on that day. I love you Papa. You are always in my heart. I will always and forever be a proud Papa's girl. Estiopek Papa and I miss you.

Inah

the outsider...

2009-09-23T16:01:00.000-07:00

i tried pouring my heart out to him...but he didn't seem to understand...

i've always thought of all the things that's been bothering me a lot lately...i've been thinking of the instances where i felt that i am an outsider...even to my own family...they seem to have this bond where i don't belong, this special tie that i don't fit in...

no, this not just a mere teenage angst..i am way too old for that...but something about everyone at home makes me feel that i am not welcome, that i am not part of it...

i have always been afraid to ask how come they always get the best while i get the excess...or of what was left over...i always think, maybe there will be my turn...but so far the waiting has not been worth it...they still get the best...and i still have the left overs...i am too scared to ask why do i always get the least in everything...it's more than just the things that they have...but even in the most minute details...i always get to be last...

haven't got the courage to say that i want more...that i deserve more...but i guess i still need to look in me and find that courage...

procrastinating...

2009-06-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

i've been delaying things lately...hahaha...i know right...but am good with it...am cool...sabi nga ni janjan at ni joms...petiks lang...hahaha...

am not rushing into things...just letting the chips fall where they may... ;)

thanks for bringing hard core rock into my life again babe...hahaha...had so much head banging and encore jamming with your buds...had lotsa fun...we had lotsa fun...

and as you always say...since day one...we don't need to thank each other...as long as we're happy...as long as we're both cool...

being in a chillax relationship makes everything lighter and easier...i had too much drama that's why am just ready to unwind and get away from it all...

baguio...here i come... ;)

-on hurting so much

2009-05-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

i've begged a lot of times before...i've swallowed my pride and went as low as i can get just for the person i love...but how could someone be so cruel to test my love for you...i love you so much...that is so out of the question but doubting my love is like continuous stab on my heart...while wishing and hoping when will this be over...what you did feels like my heart was being ripped from my chest and torn til there was nothing else left...

i walked out today not because i want us to be over...i walked out because i am so hurting that i couldn't bear to see your face and tell you things that will only make me regret it...it's now my time to ask for some air and space so i can find in my self what are the right and beautiful things about us...

i love you so much and nothing will ever change that...but i hope someday you'll stop doubting and testing if i am for real...i am here to stay...for us...

no we are not yet over...am not gonna beg...am gonna fight for us because that makes me feel right...it completes me to the core of my being...you have my heart and you will forever have it...i love you so much...

-of moving on and having life again...

2009-04-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

it was a wake up call for me...being left stranded for a long time has been a hobby for me...it has been a comfort zone...i dwell on things that i shouldn't have and blame it to the person who have caused me the pain. it never occurred to me that happiness is a choice ergo being miserable is also a choice...

it was then i realized that i have friends who cares a lot about me, who accepts me just as i am and who loves me and will be there no matter how sticky things may be. they are my source of happiness and my heart is just overwhelmed with joy that they have given me...i finally saw what i thought would complete me is just a mere illusion of how i want my life would be...

am gonna take things one baby step at a time...i have been in love with the idea of love, not really with the person...i have been searching for someone who can fill the emptiness in me but i only realized that am just removing from my heart things and people that really matters...i've learned to teach myself to grow up to prepare myself for the day when i will finally meet 'someone better'...

it has been a long time since i viewed life like this...a very long time since i mattered like this...and i love the way i wake up each day with a smile and a positive outlook...my happy ending is just somewhere but i am in no hurry to reach it...i have a lot of things to experience and the whole world to explore so from now on am gonna stop wondering what if...am just gonna look forward on what life would bring... :)

random blurbs....

2009-04-05T02:18:00.000-07:00

i was staring at the monitor...listening to random songs...chatting with my davey (*hugs*)...then i remembered you...i thought of your eyes...the way you blink...the way you run your fingers through your hair and the little curl on your lips as you smile...it struck me again...you're no longer mine...it is sad that you did not realize how much i love you...

*******
well last friday i had a lot of fun and beer...can't even go down the stairs without the help of dino & james! hahaha... but it's all good...we had a lot of fun and that's all that matters...thanks to tl jesse, james, zeig, marf, janet, kat, aic, dino, jc, sherwin, amer & vivek for the company...and for making me so effin drunk...hahaha...am looking forward on our next session of 'never have i ever'....hahaha...it was so funny and it's what got me drunk in the first place...hahaha...

*******
well just for fun...i created some fansigns for my friend's blog...he said he's gonna show it on his next entry....pero pambasag lang ng moment...am gonna post my fansigns for him! labshue neyt! hahaha...

mhycmerized...

2009-03-22T02:55:00.000-07:00

you had me waiting for more than an hour...i was freakingly annoyed...i was about to give up but the thought of smacking you head on made a better sense so i decided to be a little patient...then you texted me that you're almost there...i was so nervous yet still mad...my feet aches as i browsed through some books at the nearby bookstore...i was thinking 'i waited for almost 2 hours, now it's time for him to wait'...but still, malakas ka lang siguro sa kin, i arrived on the dot where you were...you were just staring at me and i gave you an annoyed look...you looked up and smiled...

that was it...

you had me...

i was mhycmerized...

eheads...

2009-03-15T00:15:00.000-07:00

janet...moi...amer...leng and kat...

3 groups rolled into one...

groups one and two...

as if may pinaguusapan tlga...

rak en roll....

happy to be here...

group pics...

weeeee...

peace out!

hehehe...

japan japan!

smileyyyyy....

i know...we haven't taken pics of eheads...hahaha...so silly of us...but it was a night of fun & rak en roll...enjoyed it til the last song...hahaha...

no longer good at this

2009-03-07T22:06:00.000-08:00

it has been a while since i poured my heart into this. it has been a while since i last placed something note worthy here. it has been a while since i became the real me. i would rather drown myself to things that i thought matters, things that i never really cared about when i was still the real me.

i miss the bliss of innocence every time i look at another person's eyes. i miss the heartfelt smile, the genuine smile that i normally have on my face. i miss the people that really matter in my life, i miss their presence and their unconditional love. i miss being the girl that i was, not the girl that i've become.

a very close friend recently asked me, "inah kamusta? in a real sense na kamusta?". i wanted to cry when i realized what was the right answer. i told him "Empty" and a drop of tear fell from my eye. i wanted to hug him so tight and plead to save me. i want things to be alright again, i want to be alright again. i want to have the sense of security, the feeling of comfort and knowing that i belong. i am continuously drowning in a glass of water that i can't find my way up.

i have been hiding from this face for a long time, i have been running away from the pain and making everyone believe (including myself) that i am fine and that i am strong. i am so scared to face everything head on to jumpstart a new life. i want to claim who i was.

no longer a call girl...

2009-01-27T19:57:00.000-08:00

goodbye call center....

new job....new people...newfound friends...

it's time for beer....lots and lots of beer...

soooo thirsty...wahahahaha!

webcam shooteng!!! wahehehe

2009-01-17T21:01:00.000-08:00

people that i miss...

2009-01-06T01:23:00.000-08:00

...team anna puti...

...our slumber parties...

...a night of fun and a lot of sexy!

...challenged and happy days...

...team aila avanez!

my sows boring barkada....

...missing all the fun!

...and company

...most of all the friendship...

new year's resolution

2009-01-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

no...this is not the usual i will not be... this year i will be...it will just contain a few words...3 words to be exact...not a list...

i will soar

done...

so tired...

2008-11-22T13:34:00.001-08:00

i just became so tired of being the reliable one...the funny one...the cheerful one...cause nobody takes me seriously...hahaha...

so effing tired of people using me to get to know somebody...specially hotter chicks...i am tired of being a friend...i am so tired of being used as a substitute when all else fails...am tired of being plan z...cause am not even good enough to be plan b...am tired of being singled out all the time unless there's no one else is around...am so effing tired of being someone else doormat...that people see me when they need me...but when they're all good...they totally forget all about me...

am tired of hearing secrets about me...am tired of people talking behind my back...so tired of hoping that by some love of the heavens...someone is really out there for me...so fucking tired of being someone everyone expects me to be...am so tired of loving and failing 'cause it always ends up me being hurt all the time...so tired of doing chores for people...

am tired of being the 'go-to' girl...am tired of being the girl nobody wants...just so effing tired of life...and how it makes a big fool out of me all the time...

tula ni meikan

2008-11-18T01:01:00.000-08:00

ano ba ang alam ko sa malayang pamamahayag?
-meikan-

matagal akong napaisip at napatanga
ano nga ba ang alam ko sa kalayaan
ano ba ang alam ko sa pamamahayag
marahil nga wala akong alam

ang tanging nasa isip ko lang
ay ang mga mamamahayag na napatay
ang mga reporter na nawawala
ang mga tagalathala na nakulong
marahil nga wala akong alam sa kalayaan

ang alam ko lang ay nagbabaga ang aking mga kamay
umaagos sa isip ko ang mga sigaw
ng katotohonang nais kumawala
ng mga kasinungalingang kinamumulatan ng mundo
marahil nga wala akong alam sa kalayaan

ano nga ba ang alam ng isang tulad ko?
na ang ikot ng mundo ay iba sa alam mo
na ang mga tunay na nangyayari'y pinagtatakpan nila
oo, yun lang ang alam ko

kalayaan? marahil diyan ay wala akong alam
pero may nais akong ikwento sa iyo
ang mga buhay at pamumuhay ng mga tao
na lumalaban para makuha ang malayang pamamahayag
oo, yan lang ang tanging alam ko...

may araw din sila

2008-11-16T21:03:00.000-08:00

sa bawat palo, sa bawat pagbigwas, sa bawat hampas
may araw din sila...
sa bawat bala, sa bawat saksak, sa bawat pananamantala
may araw din sila...
sa bawat galos, sa bawat sugat at sa bawat bali ng katawan
may araw din sila...
sa mga taong nawawala, sa mga di na makita
may araw din sila...
sa bawat buhay na nawala, sa pamilyang lumuha
may araw din sila...

sa bawat taong namumulat
sa bawat taong bumabalikwas
sa bawat pilipinong lumalaban
darating ang araw nila...

darating ang araw ng paniningil...

happy bday to me!

2008-11-12T15:36:00.000-08:00

technically...bukas pa birthday koh (nov 14)...but heck...ok lang yan...i won't have time to update something on my blog anyway...i have a lot of celebrations to attend since di lang naman ako ang mgbbirthday sa family at friends koh...first is my own celebration...a very good friend from dubai will even fly home just to be with us...ahehehe..then my mom on the 16th so family affair mode ito...then 18 is another celebration of my birthday with special someone *yiheeeee*...then my official party on the 19th that's gonna be at toper's place...weeeeeeeeeeeeeee...drink til you drop ang theme...kaya sa mga pupunta di pedeng di kau malalasing...wahahahaha....

til then...

am gonna be older...and am so hoping that am also a year wiser...

work, work, work...

2008-10-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

i have been on queue for almost 2 hrs now...but i dunno why, for the love of heavens, that i still do not have a call...hahaha...i am not complaining since i get to have this 'petiks mode'...2 hours of waiting is paid anyway...so i should be more thankful than complain about it...hehehe...

*********************

hahaha...first call...less than 9 secs...i wasn't even finished with my opening spiel then the customer hang up...crap...another number to catch up to...aaaarrrrgggghhhh...

2nd call...finally a sale...i know i will have ah 50% conversion rate but it is still not enough since i need to make up for the days that i wasn't able to sell that much...aaaaarrrgggghhhh...i hope my next call will be a sale again...ahehehe....

third call...i so effing thought he's gonna sign up for a toll free number...my ears are practically clapping the hell out of my head when he said that all he wants is to have multiple voicemail boxes for his EXISTING toll free number...aaaarrrrgggghhhh....so much for trying to raise my conversion rate...deym....

*********************

today is already october 11, 2008...(manila time)...

today is the 2nd death anniversary of my dad...everything seems to happen just yesterday, i can still remember hearing his voice when i last talked to him, i can still remember all the times that we argued, laughed, cried and hugged...i miss him so much and yet life still has to move on...all i need to do is to celebrate his life through mine...i will always miss him and i know i will always seek for his guidance specially now in my adult life...

my dad has been my greatest fan, my strong confidante and one of the few people in this world that loves me unconditionally...i remembered the last time that i hugged him, the last time that i said i love him and the last time that he said he loves me...i will always be papa's girl...

we were only given 20 years to be with each other but that 20 years are more than enough to last 3 lifetimes of memory and loved showed by my dad...he will forever be the best dad for me...yes he may not be perfect but when it comes to the amount of love that he have given to everyone, he is the best...

para sa'yo...kasama

2008-09-27T01:55:00.000-07:00

i remember when i first met rachelle...it was on a cegp's workshop at ocean pearl in cebu...both of us were newbies at our respective publications...after all the lectures and activities some of us opted to stay at the resort and get to know each other...there i laughed and bonded with her for the first time...then series of events led us to be close and eventually treat each other like sisters...

rachelle has always been a witty companion...there will never be a dull moment as long as rachelle is around...we were often mistaken as sisters since we're both "chubby"...we had a lot of fun moments together after meetings, after workshops, rallies, press cons and other activities...you might not even look at her as someone that is so serious since we have more 'kulitans' than serious moments...

another thing that rachelle is known for is her will to help the people...to reach out to the oppressed masses, farmers, workers and serve the people...we often talk about in what ways will we able to serve the people...and if ever there were instances that discourages us we always comes down to one statement 'serve the people' then all of our worries are gone...it has been her drive force in her daily life...she lived, breathed and existed to serve the people...

i remember the day when i last saw rachelle...she just got elected as the new editor of vital signs and i was there as a panel to conduct an interview for their new members...after a lot of deliberations and talks, we ate dinner and i think i hugged her before i left...never did i thought that it may be the last time that i will see her smile back at me...i never imagined her to be lifeless, to be just a mere memory of what she used to be....

it hurts me that she is being tagged as an armed rebel...and if ever she is, i cannot blame her with the way our society and government continues to oppress the masses...she lived to serve...she died amidst of the people that she chose to serve...she is and will forever be a hero to the people...i know that when i look at the eyes of every struggling farmer, worker, and even a sidewalk vendor i will see in them rachelle's passion for the people...

i am giving my highest tribute and admiration to my friend, sister and comrade rachelle...you will always be in our thoughts and forever in our hearts...

rachelle mae palang...(1986-2008)

justice for rachelle mae palang!

2008-09-25T00:45:00.000-07:00

September 24, 2008

PRESS STATEMENT

Justice for Rachelle Mae Palang (1986-2008),

press freedom fighter and nurse for the people

The College Editors Guild of the Philippines, in behalf of its National Office, regional formations and chapters, all member publications and affiliate organizations nationwide and across the globe, expresses its most heartfelt condolences to the family, friends and colleagues of Rachelle Mae Palang (1986-2008).

Rachelle, or Mae-Mae to her closest friends and colleagues, was beloved to the Guild for her bubbly, tongue-in-cheek demeanor. She graced the Guild's gatherings with her easy banter and infectious smile, but was always brisk and business-like in her leadership. She has served as a valuable pillar and driving force in all of the conventions and gatherings she has attended and helped organize. To most Guilders, she was not only a colleague but a precious friend and confidante.

Shock for her untimely demise are evident in her Friendster and Multiply accounts, riddled with comments ranging from disbelief, grief, and even anger – all directed at her, as if to attest that even at the time of her death her friends and colleagues still go to her for conciliation.

Such was Mae-Mae's legacy and brand of leadership. She has always been easy to approach, a rational adviser and generous in her time and efforts.

Mae-Mae was also an outstanding student at the Velez College in Cebu City where she took up and finished her nursing degree. She became editor-in-chief of Vital Signs, the official campus publication. As campus journalist and student leader, she exemplified deep commitment to uphold press freedom, freedom of speech and students' democratic rights and welfare. She is respected by her fellow campus journalists nationwide for her wit, intelligence and sharp grasp of issues.

She was elected as Vice President for the Visayas during CEGP's 67th National Student Press Convention and 33rd Biennial Student Press Congress held in Albay, Bicol in 2005. She served her term for three consecutive years before she finally relinquished her post May of this year. The CEGP will without end be honored and grateful to have had someone as dedicated as Mae-Mae as one of its leading officers.

Mae-Mae worked hard to help re-open closed campus publications, establish student papers in universities who had none, and expose and fight campus press freedom violations as well as other forms of campus repression nationwide. She led, organized and participated in countless poetry readings, cultural nights, Writers' Trips, journalist skills workshops and protest actions and activities. Even after her stint as VP for the Visayas, she proved instrumental in gathering and collating cases of campus press freedom violations in the region for CEGP's quarterly digest.

Mae-Mae had to cut short her attendance in CEGPs' 68th National Student Press Convention and 34th Biennial Student Press Congress in Davao City for her scheduled nursing licensure exams in May 2008. She passed with flying colors and eventually became a registered nurse. Even before she left, she announced to the Guild her desire to pursue an alternative medical career, one that she would devote to the less-privileged. Mae-Mae also took and passed the National Medical Admission Test. She dreamt of becoming a doctor.

It therefore did not come as a surprise to the Guild to learn that upon achieving her nursing license Mae-Mae immediately volunteered for a three-month medical mission to the hinterlands of Negros. Mae-Mae barely finished her volunteer work in Negros when her dreams died with her.

Mae-Mae was killed by elements of the Armed Forces of the Philippines on September 18, 2008 in an alleged encounter with New People's Army rebels. Her face was barely recognizable; she was shot at point-blank range. Her feet and legs were black and bruised, signs of torture evident elsewhere in her beaten body.

Mae-Mae's untimely demise reminds the Guild all too painfully of the same fate that another CEGP alumna suffered under the hands of the AFP.

In April 2002, Benjaline 'Beng' Hernandez, former CEGP Vice-President for Mindanao and a human rights volunteer, was murdered by the military while conducting a fact-finding mission in Cotabato province. Investigations revealed that the AFP, after wounding Beng, raped and shot her at close range. The AFP later on insisted that Beng was an NPA rebel.

Beng, like Mae-Mae, was also only 22 years old when she died.

The CEGP condemns in strongest terms accusations and insinuations by the AFP that Mae-Mae was armed and a combatant. She was in Negros in her capacity as a registered nurse and circumstances surrounding her brutal killing should be independently investigated.

The CEGP, in this regard, welcomes initiatives by the Commission on Human Rights Regional Office to conduct an investigation on Mae-Mae's case.

The CEGP is also reviled at the AFP's gall to celebrate Mae-Mae's death by bestowing incentives and acclaim to her killers. It is an awful and terrible reminder of the state and characteristic of our security forces. They who are supposed to protect civilians are the main enemies of human rights defenders and social workers.

The CEGP also condemns in strongest terms the AFP's malicious attempts to malign the Guild's name through red-tagging and nasty insinuations. It is precisely this kind of twisted mentality that gives license to the military to repress, harass, silence and kill with impunity. Journalists are easily treated and branded as rebels simply because they are exposed to the ills of society.

The CEGP calls on all its member publications and fellow journalist organizations nationwide and abroad to collectively wield their pens and raise their voices to denounce Mae-Mae's killers.

The CEGP regards the likes of Beng and Mae-Mae as heroes of the present generation, young martyrs who have chosen to exchange their lives of comfort for their noble convictions.

Highest tribute to Rachelle Mae Palang!

Justice for Beng and Mae-Mae!

Reference:

Vijae Alquisola, National President, 09162034402

3 years....

2008-08-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

3 YEARS....

TOO LONG TO BREAK...

I HOPE AND I PRAY...

THAT YOU'LL FIND YOUR WAY BACK TO ME...

-08172005-

useful

2008-08-13T04:50:00.000-07:00

am employed again [brownie points for me...weeeeeeee...] will officially start working at the new office on aug 26...weeeeeeeeeee...now am useful again...hahaha...

can't wait til aug 26...

mamusil lageh ka???

2008-08-06T04:49:00.001-07:00

gawa ito ng kapatid kong nagaaral sa feu...nagandahan ako at naantig sa kanyang ginawa....

http://mondayrequiem.deviantart.com

i am no sugar queen

2008-08-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

this entry is supposed to be about me being so angry and outraged...this is supposed to be about something that made me very upset. i was supposed to feel much hate right now and i should put into words the anger in me. i was in the middle of typing the title when a small IM window appeared with your name on it.

u buzzed me [LOL]...seeing your name changed everything. the buzz was like a wake up call saying 'hey bhie, am here...you don't have to feel upset anymore.' thinking and upon realizing it made me feel better to the point where i can't even remember what made me so angry (even if i do remember, it made no difference to me anymore - i'm happy now and full of joy so i have nothing to worry about). then you called me and made everything better with our conversation, with our laughter and even the silence - just the thought that you're just a whisper away made everything so calm and serene. you brought order in my life just when chaos was about to break loose. i was on the verge of breaking down and you just walked in and my entire universe snapped back into focus. nobody has ever made that much impact in me except you. with you everything seems to be okay, where i have nothing bad to think about.

all of these makes me feel secured and scared at the same time. scared that i might hold on too tight that i may never wanna let go when the right time comes. with what we have i am just hoping for the best and expecting the worst. i never planned on feeling something this deep for someone. if you can remember i tried hiding away from you. but now the forces of nature is just making up ways to keep us close. i keep making up excuses about things are never going to work out and just excluding myself from the fact that what we are feeling is true. i always pointed out the wrong things about us - the wrong things about you but day by day something amazing keeps on happening. never have i ever seen something so marvelous unravel right before me until now. i am now seeing the beauty of your heart - something i wanna keep til my dying day.

the thought of 'us' was supposed to be a mere escape from my own hurts and fears about relationships. but you've proven me wrong when you just made me feel that you can take care of me more that what i was expecting and more than what i wanted. you kept me close when i was struggling to be far from you, so close that we almost think alike. thank you for making me realize that i was so wrong about us - thank you for bringing so much grace in me that i never thought i can just let things pass by when it gets rowdy and chaotic. just like what i texted you earlier - thank you for always making me smile.

people said with the fast pace of my feelings i might end up having nobody with me - and sometimes i walk among them and their opinion about me. but having you made all the difference...my belief about life, beauty, art, the world and myself came back to me...my life found its meaning. i never even thought i can write like this again. i was merely living day by day when you came and now you make me look forward to the future. thank you for bringing me back the words to me, for making them speak to me again.

I
L
O
V
E
Y
O
U
S
O
M
U
C
H

sunsets...

2008-07-22T16:34:00.001-07:00

for more sunsets, sunrise, sunshines and storms together...
071208

credits:
thanks for my ever trusted digicam for the pics...
thanks for the delay of the bus ride..i get to catch the sunset!
thank you la union for such beautiful sunsets...

everything...

2008-07-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

Find me here
Speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

-by lifehouse...

awakening

2008-07-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

IT WILL NEVER BE THE TRIUMPH NOR VICTORY THAT WILL COMPLETE ME...

BECAUSE WHEN THE TIME COMES THAT I HAVE EVERYTHING, ALL I WANT IS JUST A MOMENT OF CLARITY...

FOR IN THAT INSTANT THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE THING THAT WILL BE APPARENT TO ME...

I AM FROM NOW ON AND FOREVER WILL BE IN LOVE WITH YOU.

missing....

2008-07-17T09:08:00.000-07:00

never have i felt the depth of missing someone til now.

i stared at the blankness of my walls, the emptiness of my room and the hallowness of my bed...as if am looking for any of your traces...

i never felt something this strong until the realization of our separation sunk into my senses...i have been looking all over for anything that would remind me of 'us'...but i guess i have taken it for granted for i can't find anything that would really define what we were...it was sad because for the first time, i felt that i have never given enough attention and love to 'us'...it just made everything seemed worse...

i never missed someone so bad that it would keep me up late and think of you over and over until it aches. my heart is being tortured by the fact that you aren't here to fix it, that we both got tired of fixing things. i never saw your significance in me until i felt myself longing for your presence because somehow i got used of you being always here and i have always relied on you being with me.

i just wish that everytime i close my eyes and think of you, i can pick you up from my dreams and just be with you then feel the warmth of your embrace...

i miss you...

sows boring!!!!!

2008-07-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

24

2008-07-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

it was less than 24 hours...for less than 24 hours i felt almost every emotion that can be felt by someone...i never even thought it was possible...but that was the way u made me feel...

it started out as happy that turned to being overwhelmed then excited...it felt warm, i felt calm and it felt right...the thought of 'us' felt right...as the seconds ticks i can feel myself enjoying every bit of the time for everything seems to be going well and more than what i expected...

in less than 24 hours i felt sadness, my heart broke into the tiniest pieces...what i thought was right now felt so wrong...i blamed myself for scaring you away...i told you i got tired of playing games but there you were toying with what i feel...it was as if i was splashed with ice cold water then warm water almost just as fast. i felt numb and shocked, there must be something that i have done to make u drift away...

and in less than 24 hours i finally learned to accept things that it just wasn't meant to be...you have your reasons so i have no authority to squeeze it out of you...

after the roller coaster ride of the 'less than 24 hours' experience we are back to what we were before...friends and chums, which is am grateful for because you are my friend and making you smile is one of the things that brings warmth in my heart...

resbak...

2008-07-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

isinulat ko ang tulang umuunlad na daw ang pilipinas noong october 2005...

2008 nakita ang resulta ng 'pagunlad' na sinasabi ni gloria...mataas na presyo ng bilihin, mas kaunting bigas at pagkain sa hapag ng bawat juan dela cruz. mas lalong humirap ang mga pilipino, mas malalang krisis sa pamumuno ni la gloria. ang mga babala ng kritiko ay di niya pinakinggan, ang sigaw ng mga tao sa lansangan ay di niya inalintana, ang mga taong dala ang boses ng masa ay pinagsawalang bahala kaya dito umabot ang sitwasyon.tadtad pa ng kasinungalingan ang binabandera ng administrasyong arroyo.saan na lang dadamputin ang bawat pilipinong hikahos sa panahong ito, na pati ang sardinas at noodles ay di na rin kaya abutin ng kanilang kakaunting kita.

itinuturing nang 'panlipunang sakit' si gloria, arroyo disease kung tawagin. nasaan si gloria sa mga ganitong panahon na kailangan siya ng mga taumbayan, sa gitna ng kabi-kabilang krisis at eskandalo? tama bang magtago na lang sa malacanang at hayaan na lang ang mga 'galamay' niya ang makiharap sa mga taong pinangakuan niya ng kaunlaran.iba talaga ang staying powers ni gloria pero darating din ang araw ng mga tao, ikaw nga nila bilog ang gulong bababa ka rin at babagsak ka sa mga kasalananat utang mo sa mga tao.

panahon na kumilos, di na sapat ang makibalita na lang at makinig. di na maari ang magsawalang-bahala ang lahat dahil kakaunti na lang ay darating na ang panahon na delubyo ang hatid ng malawakang krisis na ito. di na maaring nasa loob na lamang tayo ng ating mga tahanan. nasa lansangan ang laban ng bawat masang pilipino...wag kayong mag-alala di kau nag-iisa.

Sonnet LXXXI ("And now you're mine...")

2008-07-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

And now you're mine. Rest with your dream in my dream.
Love and pain and work should all sleep, now.
The night turns on its invisible wheels,
and you are pure beside me as a sleeping amber.

No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,
we will go together, over the waters of time.
No one else will travel through the shadows with me,
only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon.

Your hands have already opened their delicate fists
and let their soft drifting signs drop away; your eyes closed like two gray
wings, and I move

after, following the folding water you carry, that carries
me away. The night, the world, the wind spin out their destiny.
Without you, I am your dream, only that, and that is all.

- Pablo Neruda -

shout out

2008-07-02T05:40:00.000-07:00

i wanna shout out loud
ILOVEYOU!!!

cebu....

2008-07-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

HOME = CEBU

Tug War

2008-06-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

Nakapulupot ang dulo ng lubid
sa aking mga kamay.
Sa kabila, ikaw.
Hinahatak kita pabalik
sa akin. Hindi alam
kung yayakapin
o iiyakan.

Hinahatak kita pabalik.
At nagpapakirot
sa loob ang pangamba
na bibitiw ka. Hapdi
itong hindi mapapawi
ng taling ngumangabngab
sa mga palad.

Nakapulupot ang dulo
ng lubid sa mga kamay
at pulso. Silong nagbilibid
sa akin sa iyo. Dalamhati
itong aking tinatanganan
mula pa nang una
at hindi ako bibitaw.

*naantig ako...
http://www.tabulas.com/~soulfly

rough draft

2008-06-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

eto po yung rough draft ng blog entry ko

nabasa ko minsan na ang bolpen ng isang writer ay laspag, kawawa at madalas nauubusan na lang ng tinta. mahirap daw kasi habulin ang nasa isip dahil kung gaano kasi kadalas ito dumating ay isang iglap din itong nawawala. ngayon ampanget ng sulat ko dahil hinahabol ko ang nasa utak ko. nahihirapan na nga akong isulat ng mabilisan baka di ko na maabutan. kumbaga sa bolpen, nagtatae ng husto ang aking tinta...tumatapon, kumakalat at dumudumi ngayon sa papel na ito ang mga nasa loob ng utak ko. di kasi ako ganun kabilis magtype kaya papel at bolpen muna bago ko isalin sa blog ko ---- na ngayon ay binabasa mo. ayan na, nagsisimula na akong maging interactive sa mga nagbabasa ng blog ko. hahaha!! (kung may nagbabasa man!)

sa totoo lang naunahan na naman ako ni diwa, di ko na siya naabutan, wawa naman ako. pero ok lang kasi dumudugo pa rin naman ang bolpen ko. actually, bolpen ito ng kapatid ko - isang uni pin fine line 0.1 - dinekwat ko sa kanyang napakakyut na mint green na pencil case. napapahinto na ako ng konti sa pagsusulat kasi medyo nagiisip na ulet ako sa magiging daloy ng entry na ito.

pakiramdam ko sa tuwing mauunahan ako ng takbo ng utak ko eh parang di ko alam kung saan ko ipupuwesto ang sarili ko.

naalala ko tuloy noong 4th yr highschool ako. transferee ako nun, walang kahit sinong kakilala sa eskwelahan bukod sa mga kapatid at sa vice pricipal (sa papel eh puro bura bura na at may edit pang irrelevant..nyahahaha). ganung pakiramdam na 1st day sa eskuwelahan na wala kang alam sa mga taong nandun at gusto mo na lang maupo sa isang sulok - kasi di mo alam ang lugar mo.

*edit edit bura bura*

pag di ko talaga mahabol si diwa ay naliligaw ako ng bonggang bongga pati na rin ang mga katha ko. gaya ngayon di ko alam kung paano tatapusin.

sa totoo lang nagtatae pa rin ng tinta ang bolpen na hawak ko. parang marami pa siyang gustong sabihin pero di makawala ang mga titik. marahil sa iba pang mga sulatin...pwedeng kapatid ko ang kasama niyang sumulat at maaring di ko na rin ito ibalik para maging "official katha-maker" ni inah. inaantok na ako at di ko na rin halos mabasa ang sarili kong sulat kaya ipapark ko muna ang pen ko (parang elementary lang na sumasagot ng slambook tccic, japan at italy)

st.zanjoe marudo *pray for us*
st.jake cuenca *pray for us*
st.gym instructor *pray for us*

pakpak

2008-06-09T13:27:00.000-07:00

sana
lahat
ng tao
paru-paro...

and deliver us from all children...
AMEN

silent raptures

2008-06-09T13:17:00.000-07:00

it was some days ago that i looked into your eyes and found the meaning that i have been searching for.

the soft scent of your hair weaving its way into my conciousness.

i never thought completeness can come so gently yet fully such as this. speechless ecstacy. silent raptures...

you kissed me on the cheeks. i think i blushed. it was a good thing nobody saw us.

it is funny how realization comes again and again, each time more intense, each time more gripping.

in those moments when we can actually pretend that the rest of the world is a million miles away...

it seems that i have found what being complete means...

only when i am with you.

x marks the spot

2008-06-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

you hit me where it matters the most and x marks the spot

i know i was a fool. fools do stupid things and i've had my share. all because i was so afraid of being hurt again... or perhaps being hurt for the first time.

there are little children i know that are afraid of the dark because they do not want to see things in it. so afraid of something they have not even seen, that they literally fall apart if left alone by themselves. i never though that i could be so much like a child. when i lost you that was when i finally realized what i was...

yes, i was afraid of being hurt. i have read too many novels about love, heard too many friends' love stories, seen them break down right before my very eyes. told myself, as much as i can i would never want to be like that. i am mature and strong, and even minded enough not to fall into that snake pit. so i made very long wooden stakes, concrete walls as high as they could go. they were suppose to keep all else out... but they ended up keeping me in.

so one day you came and i did not notice much of you. just another face in the crowd. how wrong i was. a year later you were still with me, showing me that gem of a heart of yours. i got confused and set to distance away...

and just in time to realize what it was. the thing that i was distancing myself was what i was needing. you showed me how much you love me by letting me go... and my heart melted, right then and there.

i am not as blue as before, i smile every now and then. the reason is that something hit me. and X marks the spot.

new version of boy friends

2008-05-24T05:43:00.000-07:00

these are the guys that makes me smile...i know this is not the original post but some of these guys were complaining that i don't have the right pic and some of them were selos because they are not in the original list....nyahehehehe...

this is my babe jake...he's the sweetest, hottest, sexiest and funniest guy ever...watch out pinas...he's gonna be our next heartthrob...nyahehehehe...and am his number one fan!

nathan is currently one of my favorite guys...nyahehehe...he's super kulet and super funny...never fails on making me smile...

genki...i like seeing him in his school uniform...weeee...makes me think of the guys in tokyo drift...nyahehehehe...

my religion...nyahehehehe...sebastian aka prommy is a very talented musician ever...am glad he's one of my friends...

shoti jude...my pasaway li'l bro...chickboy pero sabi niya goodboy na daw siya ngayon...nyahehehehe...

yuan...one of the good looking guys at sows boring...i love it when he's shirtless...ahahaha...pero madaming beses na akong pinagtanggol nito...

the inlove marky boi...hahahaha...one of the funniest guys that i know...

jube...errrr....i've been inlove with this guy for a long time...until i saw his younger bro...nyahahaha...

he complained why his pic was unappealing...nyahahahaha...miss this guy...

these are the guys that are important to me...will definitely kick ass for these people...

an open letter to 'tay (hope it reaches him)

2008-05-22T19:43:00.000-07:00

dear 'tay,

eto na naman tayo...minsan sinabi mo sa akin na sa panahong malungkot, naguguluhan, naiinis o nagagalit ako ay panghawakan ko lang ang bagay na alam kong malakas ako. sa pagsusulat ko nakita ang lakas at tiwala sa sarili na hindi kailanman naibigay ng mundo sa akin, dito alam kong di ako bibitawan at hindi ako mauubusan ng maisusulat hangga't gumagana ang utak ko. tama ka rin, darating ang araw na mawawala ka sa tabi ko pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay di na kita pwede sabihan kung ano man ang nangyayari sa buhay ko. kaya nga heto ako ngayon, nagbabaka sakali na kahit alam kong marami kang ginagawa ay baka mabasa mo pa ito.

namimiss kita, aaminin ko yun. namimiss ko ang mga kulitan, kwentuhan, asaran at laro natin. namimiss ko ang mga araw na ngiti mo lang ang nagpapakumpleto sa buhay ko, at sa bawat pagkakataon na mahahawakan ko ang mga kamay mo ay alam kong ligtas ako. alam ko meron na tayong kanya-kanyang buhay pero sana alam mong naging masaya ako na naging bahagi ka ng buhay ko. alam ko wala na ang bawat minutong pagtetext at oras oras na telebabad pero masaya ako at minsan ay nagkakaron tayo ng pagkakataon para makapag kwentuhan.

'tay ngayon naguguluhan ako, hinahanap ko yung mga pagkakataong alam mo ang solusyon sa lahat. yung tinitignan mo pa lang ako ay alam mo na kung anong problema ko at kung pano ko malulusutan iyon. hindi na kasi ako yung parehong inah na nakilala mo. hindi na rin ako yung hinahanap mo nung nakaraan. ikaw na mismo ang nagsabi, bakit napakalungkot ng inah ngayon at bakit puno ng galit ang inah ngayon. kung bakit iba na ang ngiti ng inah ngayon at wala na ang mga mata ng dating inah. kahit ako hinahanap ko rin siya 'tay. kung pwede lang ako bumalik sa panahon, babalaan ko siya sa mga nangyayari ngayon para hindi na niya maranasan ang sakit na nandito sa loob ko.

nasaktan ako 'tay. di ko alam kung bakit sarili ko ang pinaparusahan ko sa sakit na dulot ng iba. di ko na alam kung saan hahanapin yung simpleng inah na gusto lang ang mga simpleng bagay. sana di na lang ako nagpadala sa mga bagay na akala ko ay mamahalin din ako, sa mga taong akala kong mamahalin din ako. dahil ngayon di ko na makita ang sarili ko sa bawat pagharap ko sa salamin, mukha ko ang nakikita ko pero hindi ako ang nakatingin sa sarili ko. hindi dahil inaakala nilang malakas ako ay kailangan nila akong saktan ng ganito dahil sa pagkakataong ito, di ko alam paano ako tatayo.

nagtataka ka siguro kung bakit sa 'yo ko ito sinusulat, kasi alam kong kilala mo ako. nakilala mo ako sa pinakamahinang panahon ng buhay ko at nandoon ka rin ng sinubukan kong simulan ulit ang buhay, yung kasama ka at nasa tabi kita. di ko naman hinihingi na bumalik ang dati pero nababawasan ang sama ng loob dahil alam kong mababasa mo din ito. alam kong may lugar pa rin naman ako sa iyo dahil ganon ka rin naman sa akin.

salamat sa pakikinig (pagbabasa na rin!)...

eto pa rin ako,
'nay...

napapamasaya

2008-04-30T01:27:00.000-07:00

it was almost past midnight when we were talking about craziness and stuffs...i whispered in your ear...'alam mo napapamasaya mo ako'...we both laughed because there's no such word but we know what it means and what i want to say to you...then you smiled, the sweetest smile this world have seen and then you graced my whole existence...we were staring at the stars and naming it...you held my hand then tears fell from my eyes...you gently wiped it and told me you'll never leave me and i am a great friend...

you're the only thing that's right in my life right now...you know what's in my heart and what i feel for you...you know that but you chose for us to remain friends...leaving me clueless and out of place...it leaves me in oblivion as you promise to take care of me yet won't love me the way i want to...

the call you made now left me confused...you greeted me with 'hello girlfriend' and i said 'hi boyfriend' and ended the call with 'can't wait to see you'...am i still a friend?

now am staring at you as we discuss an important event and as you look at me you gave me a wink then i just gave you a faint smile...am searching in your eyes where i am in your life...it's tearing every bit of me that i can't say it to you, can't ask it to you...

my heart is like a bowl of marble scattered all over the floor...you are helping me pick up the pieces and now that the bowl is almost full again, will you just walk away after making me feel full again?

but then again, 'napapamasaya mo ako diba?'

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

2008-04-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

yuan, pypai, karen and michael

2008-04-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

yuan...

saw him again today...i was surprised that he was not wearing a cap ( i always tease him and calls him 'april boy yuan')...i really like his new hair...he smiled a lot, laughed a lot...shouted a lot (at me ofcourse, arrrggggghhhhh) and made my arm bleed cause he pinched me sooooo hard...but no worries cause i bit him in return!!!!wahehehehe....but all in all i had fun hanging out with him again...i miss him and our kulitans...

pypai and karen

whe will i see you two???you have been in manila for a while and still we haven't had the chance to just hang...i miss our cebu days...i miss our fun time together and our all nighters...i miss working with bright minds like you girls...loveyah both...i hope we just stayed that way...i know i cannot keep you forever for we all belong to the people that we serve...

michael...

after a while i saw your name in my inbox...i missed seeing your endless smileys and our all nighter kulitans...i really wanna see you and hang out with you soon...together with your sis...miss yah both...

to bestfriend...you know what i wanna say na...hahaaaaayyyyy....

52 things about me...

2008-04-23T22:33:00.001-07:00

1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be?

......si bestfriend...yeah so dawson's creek mode

2 . When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?

.....isn't it left at the counter or parking lot?

3. If you had to kiss again the last person you kissed, would you?

.....yeah....

4. Do you take compliments well?

.....it really depends on what kind of comment

5. Do you play Sudoku?

....i even downloaded it in my phone...so fun and 'mind bottling'

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?

....as long as i have my cellphone and it is under coverage

7 . If your house were on fire, what would be the thing you would save?

....my important docus...and the pc!lolz

8. Who was the last person you slept in the bed with?

.....little bro maui...

9. Who do you text the most now?

.....am kinda into gtxt mode...so i text everyone in my phonebook...lolz

10 . Favorite children's book?

.....the chronicles of narnia

11 . Eye color?

.....dark brown?

12. How tall are you?

.....5'5

13. If you could do it over again,start from scratch, would you

.....errrrr...huh?

14. Any secret admirers?

.....if it is a secret how can i know it...darn...

15. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?

.....where the **** is that?!

16. Favorite ex..?

.....the exes that i am in friendly terms right now...nathan and merwin

17. Where was the farthest place you traveled?

....i think davao and then surigao if dito sa pinas....sunnyside ny....

18. Do you like mustard?

....in my hotdog sandwich...yeah....

19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?

....i like doing both....

21. Do you miss anyone?

....yeah...

22. Can you do splits?

.....before in the field grounds of st.scho...hahaaaayyyy...elementary days....

23. What movie do you want to see right now?

....prince caspian...when are they gonna show it?!

24 . What did you do for New Year's Eve?

....fireworks display in san fernando la union

25 . Do you think The Grudge was crappy?

....yeah...but i think all horror films are crappy...

27. Was your mom a cheerleader?

....yeah...and so was i...deym...whatever happened to my figure

28. What's the last letter of your middle name?

....O

30. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?

....i sleep during wee hours of the morning...heheehe

35. What do you wear to sleep?

....oversized shirts...

37. Is your hair straight or curly?

....straight...sometimes wavy...

40. Do you like funny or serious people better?

....seriously funny people...

42 . What is on your mind right now?

....the project that i was offered....

43 . Any plans 4 tonight?

....finish full house..so that i can finally understand what was the full house craze was all about...i know i am 3 years late of watching it...

44 . Whats your fav. song at the moment?

....inside the mind of a killer...am so close to being one...

45 . Do you hate chocolate?

....am made of genetics and chocolate...so what do you think?

46 . What do you and your parents fight about the most?

...with me and my mom...my sleeping habits...with my parents...they can't fight if the other one is dead right?

47. Are you a stupid person?

.....am stupid...that's why i wanna learn...

48. Do you need a boyfriend/girl friend to be happy ?

....it depends...i need my girlfriends though...cause it is just sooo fun to be with them...

49 . If you could have any job what would it be?

....a field reporter or writer...i wanna be on the streets where the action is...

50. Are you easy to get along with?

....i think so...cause am literally a talkative person...

51. What is your favorite time of day?

....very early in the morning...like a little past midnight...that's when my mind works...

52 . Are you generally a happy person?

.....yeah...i laugh about anything and everything...

a friend posted the questions in the bulletin board of friendster...it was fun doing this...hehehehe

everything

2008-04-22T02:38:00.002-07:00

smallville season 1 episode 1...

hahaaaaayyyyy...

text craze

2008-04-22T02:02:00.000-07:00

i loved him before...but now i dunno...

i was texting with my good friend and everything just turned awkward and weird...it all started fine until he said...

friend: di lang talaga for me ang lovelife. pero happy naman ako kasi anjan ka na super friend ko
inah: ano ako may super powers?as in super friend?lolz
friend: kaw lang kasi nakakapagpatawa sa akin lately, salamat po ha?
inah: asus, ikaw pah...tanga lang kasi ex mo at pinakawalan ka niya...bait mo kaya...and u deserve to be treated differently...bad xa! lika hug na lang kita...
friend: awww...ur so sweet...thanks ah! ganyan ka ba talaga?
inah: ngayon mo lang napansin? sweet ako sa lahat...kaya smile ka na lang...
friend: eto na smiling na po! sana magkantahan ulit tayo at maligo sa ulan
inah: oo nga miss ko na yun..wala na kasing ulan ngayon...
friend: alam mo naman na ikaw ang bestfriend ko diba?
inah: nabili mo kasi ako sa chocomallows kaya mo ko bestfriend
friend: hindi, andito ka sa heart ko kaya kita bestfriend.
inah****di nakareply****
friend: sana makita rin ni ***** kung anu man ang nakikita mo sa akin...para kahit papano love niya rin ako
inah****wala ng planong magreply****

after this i had the urge of eating ice cream...walked towards the nearest mini stop and bought my best comfort food...then cried silently...

now he'll know what i feel for him...if by any chance di niya mabasa ito forever then i'll be forever grateful...

i made him laugh, sing and dance in the rain...but his heart never became mine...

-insomia-

2008-04-21T03:18:00.000-07:00

gusto kitang makasama
gusto kitang yakapin
sa silong ng mahiwagang kalangitan
sa ilalim ng ningning ng mga bituin
gusto kong damhin
ang init ng iyong yapos
ang pintig ng iyong puso
ang tamis ng iyong halik

gusto kong ikulong ka sa aking mga braso
huwag kang pakawalan
hanggang sa maramdaman mo
na nabubuhay ako para sa iyo

nais kong ipunin ang bawat sandali
na yakap kita, na nasa tabi kita
nais kong marinig mula sa iyo
ang mga salita ng pagsinta
nais kong hilahin ang mga araw
para sa itinakdang panahon
na sa wakas ay kasama ka na

Mula sa KM64

2008-03-21T04:21:00.000-07:00

Ngayong araw na ito (03182007) ay ihahatid na ng kanyang pamilya, ilang mga kaibigan, at sampu ng kanyang mga kaanak si Jemalyn Lacadin sa kanyang huling himlayan. Namatay siya sa edad na 24.

(basahin ang karugtong)

eto ako....

2008-03-16T03:25:00.001-07:00

minsan masarap itanong sa sarili kung ano nga ba ang talagang halaga mo sa mundong ito... yung bang tipong iniisip mo kung tama ba talaga yung mga ginagawa mo para sa mga tao o kung doon ka talaga naka-tadhanang kumilos...kung iyon ba talaga ang dapat na kalagyan mo...kung iyon ba talaga ang dapat gawin mo...

pero kung iisipin ko lang din ang kasiyahan ko sa ginagawa ko di na sumasagi sa utak ko ang pagtatanong kung ito ba ang tama...kasi sa nalalaman ko...kung para sa mga tao ang ginagawa ko eh tama yun...kung maraming giginhawa balang araw sa mga gingawa ko...astig daw sabi ng iba...pero para sa akin...misyon ko na sa buhay yan...kung baga yun yung tinatawag nilang "calling" ko...yung bang kailangan ko tumugon sa kung ano ang nais ng tadhana para sa akin, yung bang tatayo ako sa kung ano ang prinisipyo ko...

tatayo ako kahit ako na lang mag-isa, ang meron lamang ako ay ang nakatiklop kong kamao at ang nagbabaga kong mga kamay na di titigil sa pagsusulat sa kung ano ang totoo, sa kung ano ang tunay

Para sa Estudyanteng Nakikibaka

2008-03-16T03:04:00.000-07:00

NI DANILO ARAÑA ARAO
Konteksto/ Pinoy Weekly
Inilathala ng Bulatlat
Vol. VIII, No. 7, Marsop 16-29, 2008

Hindi ito sermon mula sa nakatatanda kundi isang munting paalala.

Alam mo na ang iskedyul ng mga kilos- protesta mula ngayon hanggang sa pagtatapos ng semestre ngayong Marso. Malamang na magpapatuloy pa ang mga ito hangga’t ang Pangulo ay hindi pa bumababa sa puwesto.

Inaasahan kang makiisa sa mga ito para ipakita sa mga nasa kapangyarihan ang malawakang pagtutol ng mamamayan sa katiwalian ng pamahalaan at pangkalahatang kabulukan ng sistema.

Nasa iyo ang desisyon kung hanggang saan mo gustong dalhin ang iyong pagkilos. Sa isang lipunang “normal,” tungkulin ko bilang guro na sabihan kang unahin ang pag-aaral dahil ito ang pundasyon ng iyong magandang bukas.

Pero alam mong malayo sa “normal” ang ating kalagayan, at wala akong karapatang sabihing magkakaroon ka ng magandang bukas dahil lang sa nakapagtapos ka ng pag-aaral. Bilang estudyanteng may mataas na antas ng kamulatan, alam mong ang pagtatapos ng pinili mong kurso sa kolehiyo ay hindi awtomatikong magpapaunlad sa iyong buhay.

Sa katunayan, mula sa pagiging kasama sa mga kilos-protesta, baka magiging kasama ka na lang sa lumalaking bilang ng mga walang trabaho. O mas malala pa, baka magiging kasama ka na lang sa nabigyan ng trabaho kapalit ng iyong prinsipyo.

Ito ang dapat mong iwasan - ang pagkawala ng pakikibaka sa iyong pagtanda.

Marami na akong kakilalang seryosong kasapi ng parlamento ng lansangan na naging seryosong empleyado ng tubo. Tuluyan na nilang kinalimutan ang kahalagahan ng pagkilos, at kasama na sila sa kumokondena sa mga nangyayaring protesta bilang "simpleng pinagdaraanan lang ng kabataan."

Napapailing na lang ako sa kanilang katwiran: "Dati rin kaming aktibista, pero namulat kami sa katotohanang mahirap baguhin ang sistema. Kailan din naming kumita para sa pamilya, kaya mas mabuti pang isipin na lang ang sariling pag-unlad kaysa mapaos sa kasisigaw sa mga problemang mas matanda pa sa atin."

Sigurado akong may mga kakilala kang may ganitong aktitud na kumukumbinsi sa iyong kalimutan na ang pagmamartsa dahil ang iyong pagsigaw ay pansamantala lang ang alingawngaw. Kahit sabay-sabay kayo, lulunurin lang ng ingay ng tao’t sasakyan sa lansangan ang anumang mensaheng nais ipahatid. Ang nakararami diumano ay may praktikal na pangangailangang kumita para gumanda ang buhay ng pamilya.

Malamang na may mga panahong nagdududa ka kung tama ba ang pinili mong tahakin. Habang ang mga kaklase mo’y pinoproblema lang ang kasiyahang gagawin sa pagsapit ng gabi, nakikipagpulong ka sa iba pang kasama para sa mga susunod na pagkilos. Sa halip na malasing s alak at basta na lang tumumba sa tindi ng tama, pinipilit mong magising sa tapang ng kapeng iniinom para labanan ang antok.

Mula sa iilang nakatatandang alam ang iyong pinagdaraanan, maniwala kang may dahilan para ipagpatuloy mo ang ganitong buhay. Sana’y huwag kang magpadala sa pambubuyo ng mga walang pakialam. Sana’y huwag kang matukso sa kinang ng salapi sa oras ng iyong pagtatapos sa kolehiyo. Patuloy mong tingnan ang pag-aaral hindi lang sa loob ng klasrum kundi maging sa labas nito.

Sa panahong katulad nito, lubhang kailangan ang mga katulad mo.

nakakagalit na...

2008-03-15T00:11:00.000-07:00

kababasa ko lang ng umano'y kinahinatnan ng inabduct na UP students na sina Karen at Sherlyn...naubos ata ang mura ng iba't ibang lenguwahe ang naisip ko ng mabasa ko ang mga kahayupang ginawa nila...pagkatapos ng dalawang taong pagkawala ay makikita na lamang walang buhay at di na makilala...inabuso at pinahirapan pa...walong buwang nasa loob ng hukay na di man lang alam ng mga tao kung sino ang nandoon...isang kalapastanganan para sa mga bayaning itinututring ng masa...

ito ang sagot nila sa bawat tutuligsa sa pamumuno ng isang pasistang gobyerno...ito ang paraan nila ng paninindak sa mga magtatangkang buwagin ang sistemang bulok na pinamumunuan ng isang halimaw...hindi porket babae ka eh may karapatan ka ng manakit, umabuso at pumatay...wala kang ni katiting na karapatan para kitlin ang buhay ng mga walang ibang layon kundi ang iangat ang interes ng masang patuloy mong ninanakawan...

dalawa lamang sila sa napakaraming kaso ng kalupitan ng administrasyong arroyo...at hindi dito matutuldukan ang kalupitang gagawin pa kung hindi kikilos ang bawat pilipino...marami nang bayani ng masa ang nawala, inabuso at pinatay huwag na nating hayaang madagdagan pa ito...wag na nating patagalin pa ang pag-upo ng mga berdugong nasa kapangyarihan...tayo ang masa, nasa atin ang kapangyarihan upang baliktarin ang kasalukuyan para sa ating kinabukasan...

in times like these we miss Sin

2008-03-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

Cardinal Sin's last wish before he died was to have Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and First Gentleman Mike Arroyo to be at his side. the reporter asked why

Cardinal Sin: "i want to die like christ... with two thieves by my side."

i found this entry at a friend's old blog ...funny yes...but it makes us think, Cardinal Sin knew what was happening and he already had his stand from the beginning (even before this zte scandal surfaced and hello garci). i also heard in the news that the problem why it is hard to mobilize the people into the streets to throw of the arroyo regime is the lack of a Cardinal Sin-like sense of activism and vigilance. if only Cardinal Sin is here....

Cardinal Sin already told us his stand, he immortalized the action that should be done.

did Cardinal Sin really died like christ? no. for in the bible the other thief felt remorse but the thieves he was talking about are still there hoarding money like hell broke loose.

we all know what should be done...and the answer is not in the safeness of our homes and offices. the answer is in the streets where the battle is, where Gloria and the rest of her lapdogs are going down.

parang hangin...

2007-09-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

kung gano kabilis kang dumating...ganon ka rin kabilis nawala sa 'kin....

kape at libro...

2007-09-17T03:34:00.001-07:00

sana sa susunod kasama na kita

will you fly with me?

2007-09-17T03:31:00.001-07:00

i'll be alone without you

sa bagong ikaw...

2007-09-17T03:25:00.000-07:00

ikaw na nananahan sa aking puso sa ganitong panahon...ikaw na nagbigay muli ng bagong sigla...bagong lakas na meron ako ngayon...sa bagong ikaw na nagbibigay ngiti, galak at sigla sa bawat ginagawa...

mahal kita...

tama ka emman di pa tapos ang ulan (isang pagpupugay)

2007-08-07T20:23:00.001-07:00

di pa tapos ang ulan
sa panulaang rebolusyonaryo
sa mga abanteng diwa
ng mga masang api
ng mga studyanteng ligaw
ng mga kabataang taas kamaong
nakikibaka
laban sa imperyalismo
sa peudalismo
sa pasismo
tama ka Emman,
di pa tapos
bagkus naglalangit-ngit
ang bawat nagdurugong pluma
ng mga tulad mo
salita ang gamit
para sa dambana ng demokrasya
kaya sa panibagong sigwa
asahan mo Emman,
uulan ng husto
sa panulaang rebolusyonaryo

sulat

2007-05-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

"sabi niya ikaw lang ang mahal,
seryoso siya sa lahat ng pangako sinta..."

dati araw araw kong naririnig ang mga salitang yan ...namimiss ko na ang ganung buhay...pero sa mga nangyayari sa kasalukuyan maari ko ring maisip na di doon natatapos ang saya ng buhay ko...maraming mga bagay na dapat ikatuwa kahit na minsan ay mahirap isipin na kailangan merong mga maiwan...merong mga nakikitang bago at merong mga di na kelan man makikita pa...pagibig na muling nakapiling...pagibig na habangbuhay ng mawawala...yung akala mong panghabangbuhay ay panandalian lang pala...parang mga bulalakaw sa kalangitan na mawawala rin sa isang iglap...sing bilis ng pagdating nila sa buhay ko...yung iisipin mong permanente sa buhay mo ay babawiin rin balang araw...at sa di inaasahang pagkakataon ay doon pa mawawala ng tuluyan...yung wala kang pagkakataong makapagpaalam...yung pagkakaitan ka ng pagkakataong mamaalam...hanggang sa wala ka ng ibang pwedeng gawin kundi hilingin na kung pwede mo lang sanang maibalik...

"patawarin mo ako,
mapaglarong isipan..."

di akalaing sa tinagal ng panahon ngayon ko lang maiisip na sabihin ito sa taong matagal hinintay ang mga salitang ito...PATAWAD...pero huli na...kahit na sabihin ko ng paulit ulit di na niya maririnig...di na niya malalaman kung ano ang nasa sa loob ko at kung ano pa ang maga gusto kong sabihin sa kanya...di na niya maririnig ang mga masasayang kwentong nais kong ibahagi sa kanya at ang mga nakalulungkot na katotohanang sana ay dati mo pa pinaalam...di lang niya alam na sa lahat ng mga ginagawa mo ay siya ang pinagaalayan mo nito...sana alam niya...sana mararamdaman niya kung gaano kahirap na wala siya sa tabi mo para makita man lang niya na lahaty ng ito'y para sa kanya...na mahal mo siya...na nagsisisi ka na....

PARA SA IYO NA NAGING MALAKING BAHAGI NG BUHAY KO...ANG UNA KONG PAG IBIG...

eto na ulet...meron na!!!

2007-03-28T23:28:00.000-07:00

nakakahiya naman kasi binigay ko sa isang kakilala ko ung blog ko pero di ako nakakapagupdate...hehehe...panu kasi nagpapanggap na busy ang lola mo...bwahahaha...

*****

teka may naalala ako at napagtanto...miss ko na ang dating buhay ko...miss ko na ang pagiging estudyante at ang makasama ang mga kasama...malayo man ako sa kanila pero sana alam nila na nasa kanila pa rin ung isip ko at nalulungkot ako kasi wala akong maitulong sa kanila...darating din yan...konting panahon na lang at magbabalik din ako sa cebu at makakakilos akong muli...makakasama ko na kayo ulit mga kasama..*sob*(tagalog mode pala ito...teka edit ko) *hikbi*...namimiss ko na ang sumulat...namimiss ko na ang kumilos...namimiss ko na ang pawis, ang sigaw, ang pagod, ang sarap na alam mong kumikilos ka para sa ikabubuti ng marami...madalas naiiyak ako sa mga nangyayari dahil wala ako sa tabi ninyo mga kasama...nalulungkot ako dahil lantaran kong nakikita kung ano ang agwat na meron ang bawat isa...madalas masarap isigaw na lang na eto ako...alam ko nararamdaman mo at may pagasa tayo...gusto ko kayong makasamang muli...gusto ko kayong matulungang muli...

*****

another entry

2006-12-14T23:01:00.000-08:00

i dunno what i am actually doing right now...just spillin my thoughts into this keyboard while i am amidst all the noises around me...oblivious to what other people see and what other people feel...i never thought i'd feel this way again after eons of minutes, hours, days, weeks and months...yeah right inah...epekto lang yan ng sandamukal na manok galing sa north park...for the first time in more than a year i actually found a friend whom i can TOTALLY confide to...i usually call him "kuya" since he is way too old for me but young enough to dig on how my mind works...he is JUST A FRIEND and i prefer it to be that way...i just like him kasi simple at walang ere...he knows how to laugh (real hard!!) and maayos makisama kahit kanino...funny thing is i am the one who usually give him REMINDERS specially at work...panu tigas ng ulo...as if i wanna just smack him on the face once he will commit the mistakes that he has been continuously reminded of...(ehem aku ung nagremind!)

and by the way...

am pretty much busy with work and on thinking on how to spend my christmas...hehehe..wla pa kasing plano dahil malamang may work...*sigh*...*sobsobsob*...masama na toh...kinakarir talaga ng team ang manalo sa christmas tree making contest...all for a day in EK...sweet...mas mahal pa ata ang gastos nmin sa yummy christmas tree namin at napunta kami sa kung saang sulok ng maynila para sa mga pangdecor...gaya ng divisoria...glorietta...malate at sa isang unknown na lugar...hehehe...pero at least may instant team building ulit kami...

another and by the way...

miss ko na ang cebu...mula nung huli akong umuwi jan...hayaan mo...muli akong magbabalik at di na muling lilisan pa....*sana nga*

the last and by the way...

kelangan ko ng matulog...lulutang akong muli habang kausap ang mga customers... yeah...rock on!

a tribute to my dad

2006-11-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

for manuel p. lumongsod jr.
the greatest dad that ever lived.....
june 20, 1958-october 11, 2006

i will always miss your smile..
will always miss your voice...
will miss your laughter,
your sermons,
your advice,
your jokes and kalokohan,
our bonding time,
our tampo moments...
our "hug mo ko" moments...

papa, i may not have said lotsa things...
i may not have done lotsa things...
i know at some ways i disappointed you..
but i know,
that never i let a day pass
without letting you know how much i love you..

i can write a thousand words to describe how great you are
as a dad
as a mentor
as a teacher
as a friend
as a husband
as a brother
as a son
as a neighbor
even as a citizen...

you were the one who taught me almost everything i know...
basketball
history
tennis
cooking (with the dance)
loving other people
forgiving
living life to the fullest
and fighting even a losing battle...

papa thank you
for all the lessons
for all the love
for the concern
for being my friend
for being my superhero (and much more than that)
for being my protector
for making me feel
...that being a daddy's girl is the coolest thing i can ever experince in this world

papa it will never be a goodbye
see you soon

your baby forever...
inah

nagbabalik...

2006-09-28T19:55:00.001-07:00

madalas na akong walang nailalagay dito...tagal na rin mula nung huling makarinig sa akin ang mga kaibigan kong kilala lang ako sa pamamagitan ng blog...

sa mga nagtatanong...

saang call center ako...SYKES ASIA
anong account...MCI *sbay kanta si aiai...MCI 10515 tatawag ako sa amerika*
anong ginagawa ko...i kiss american's asses...make them feel i understand and feel for them but the only reason why i am doin it is because of sales...
ano pa ang iba kong ginagawa...nagsisimba every sunday sa CCF sa St.Francis Square sa likod ng Megamall...umaattend ng Dgroup...nagggym (yebah!jube di na kita papansinin papayat na ako)...umiinom ng maraming java caramel o kaya frosty...yummmm
ano pa ang gusto kong gawin...bukod sa paginom ng mas marami pang mga kape..eh mdami pa akong balak sa buhay...masaya at kakaaliw...
anong plano ko sa career ko bilang call girl....maging telemarketer...konti na lang andun na ko...konting hakbang na lang...lam ko nman na kaya ku un...

hehehe...am pretty much busy w/ lotsa things lately aside from pigging out w/ digie, mauree, chabz, maan and all the other people i go out with...i so love the new thing that i am on...ung pgggym...ksama sina glee at weena...

kung bakit drew ang pangalan ko sa phone...hehehe...it has something to do w/ april 22, 2006....

*and when all my dreams come true i'll be spending time w/ you...i love you more today than yesterday...but not as much as tomorrow...*

nagbabalik...

2006-09-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

as a call girl...

2006-05-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

hehehe...masaya ang buhay sa call center...well cguro kasi masaya ang mga ksama sa work at bibo lahat!!!wehehehe!!!!hello wave30!!!!hehehe...

sana nga lang makatulog aku ng maayos....

tagaytay adventure...

2006-04-13T01:59:00.000-07:00

nasa tagaytay ako ngayon...salamat kay manong omar...hehehe...kuya omar pla...eh nakagamit ako sa laptop niya...weheheehe...masaya ngayon dahil masaya lang...tagal ko ng di nakakagawa ng entry...wala pang saysay ang entry ko dito...ahuhuhuhu...anyway sana makagamit ako ng pc kaagad....gagawa aku ng mahabang entry...pramis....

hanggang dito na muna...oo alang kwenta...oo walang sense...muah!

sumasakit ang heart ko...

2006-03-02T22:40:00.000-08:00

masakit sa heart ang wala kang magawa sa mga bagay bagay na nangyayari sa paligid mo..yung bang tipong kunyari wala kang pake pero sa totoo lang eh kating kati ka ng lumusob sa lansangan at ipagsigawan ang totoong kalagayan ng bansa...wala akong magawa...wala akong maisip na pwede kong gawin...sumasakit ang heart ko at minsan ay napapamura na lang ako sa mga kaekekan ng pangulo kuno ng bansang ito...kung anu anong mga pakulong ginagawa para mapanatili siya sa pwestong di naman dapat sa kanya...bad trip madalas lalo na ngaung maraming ginagawang kabulastugan ang pandak na chuva na nasa malakanyang....

bad trip na bad trip na ang mga tao sa kanya....alam ko namang alam niya yun...sadya lang sigurong makapal ang kanyang mukha para ipag giitan na mahal siya ng taong bayan...well ito lang ang say ko...*utot moh!*

batangas!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-28T11:14:00.000-08:00

dun ako galing nung weekend...kasi po eh outing nmin sa work...dapat di ako sasama kasi may pinaglalaanan ako ng perang gagastusin doon pero wla ring choice kasi di pwedeng bawiin ang mga "kinikil" na pera... pero masaya nman...lalo na nung nasa SAND kami ni mama ann at naglalabas ng mga kasentihan sa buhay... at ng pumunta sa kalapit na isla para magswimming... at di nila ako mapatumba...hehehe...paguwi ko tuloy eh mukha na kong ita sa itim...baboy pa sa sobrang kain...at tila anemic kasi pinapak ng maraming lamok sa jeep kung saan kami nakatulog..(kasi nasaraduhan kami ni mama ann ng door ng cabin namin)...masaya nman...syempre beach un eh!!!!

bigla ko tuloy namiss ang cebu....at ang mga magagandang beach doon...

midnight madness

2006-02-28T11:11:00.000-08:00

location: yahoo (lugaw at bbq station sa ortigas mlapet sa metrowalk)
accomplice(s): kuya buboy, mama sharon, pong, joynee, jeng, kuya gil
time: 12:00 midnight....

yan ang mga basics sa midnight madness namin...kumakain ng lechong manok na may masarap na sauce...yummm....

try nio sarap....

hehehe

2log na...

2006-02-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

kung nasa work ka ng mga ganitong oras...(3:00am) ito ang gingawa namin sa top draw...NATUTULOG...well sila tulog na eh ako hindi pah....medyo duling nga lang ak ksi ilang araw na akong abnormal ang tulog....maximum na ung 5 oras...pero hati hati din un...dahil madalas akong nakakapanaginip ng pang suspense thriller na movie...na parang anthology din ksi nagdudugtong dugtong pag pinipilit kong magising at makakatulog ulit...

gusto ko na ng kumpletong tulog...

love all around..

2006-02-18T04:49:00.000-08:00

before making this entry...i talked to a friend [whom i haven't heard for a long time]....at the beginning of the conversation he told me that he's "loveless"....but guess what....after we talked may lovelife na siya...hehehe...it was something nice and i'm really happy for him...

to you my good friend drew and your girl....congratulations... feb 18 2006

HAPPY ANIB!!!

2005-11-30T01:18:00.000-08:00

MALIGAYANG IKA-41 MGA KASAMA!!!!

miss ko na sila...

2005-10-29T19:02:00.000-07:00

grace, charisse, marian, pypai, karen, jube, edmar, yasher, ed, medz, chubby, jamaal, troie, edward, panyero, mama xan, arman, schunt, rachelle, basco, eduard, checai, chai, sam, seth, mommy sha, skip, shobe, kuki, dinkay, bangbang, maomao, at sa iba pang nakalimutan ko pero mahalaga sa puso ko.... miss ko na kayo...
muahmuah...*mush*

umuunlad na daw ang pilipinas..

2005-10-20T00:38:00.000-07:00

umuunlad na daw ang pilipinas
sabi ng presidentend pandak
'wag daw harangan ng mga kritiko
para tuloy-tuloy ang pag-ariba
sabihin kaya niya yan sa mga ordinaryong tao
sa mga pamilyang walang laman ang plato
sa mga tatay at nanay na walang trabaho
sa mga walang matirhan
sa mga dinemolish ang tirahan
sa mga manggagawang hirap
sa mga inagawan ng lupa
sa mga di makapag-aral
sa mga may sakit na di makapagpa-ospital
sa mga taong pinagsamantalahan
ng ganid na sistema
sa mga inabuso't nagpapatuloy pa
sa bawat pilipinong hikahos
na di makita
sa kung saang sulok ang pag-unlad
subukan niyang sabihin 'yan
dahil kahit mahal na ang kamatis
siguradong uulanin siya nito....

aha!

2005-04-29T02:15:00.000-07:00

buwagin ang bulok na sistema ng edukasyon!

somebody save me...coffee pls...

2005-04-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

to actually save me from starvation marian gave me a chocolate chip cookie...as in isang pirasong cookie...which is i'm grateful for...she is such a sweet girl...hehehe...and when somebody offered me her coffee i asked, "anong brand?"...then she said, "nescafe"...then i declined... as much as i love coffee i do not drink blood, most specially workers' blood... SO PLEASE PEOPLE WAG NA KAYONG GUMAMIT NG NESTLE PRODUCTS!!!! pero di pa rin maiiwasan... pag hinahanap na ng katawan mo ang kape at wala nang ibang choice eh makaka inom pa rin ng nescafe...syet...mabuti sana kung laging may maxwell house sa fiesta 24 (convinience store mlapit sa bahay) kaso nga lang hindi...tpos lagi pang maagang magsara ng tindahan yung intsik naming kapitbahay para kahit tea na lang eh maka bili... sana rin eh laging may pera pra makabili ng starbucks...*sigh* nampucha sobrang pathetic nman ng buhay na 'to...busy ka na nga sa mga bagay2 pero yung simpleng hiling mo lang na makainom ng kape eh di mo magawa...

my life...

2005-04-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

again, i have been staring at the monitor for a few minutes when i realized that i have to type something...it is not because i do not know what to write but because i cannot find the words that can describe what i am feeling right now...or maybe there is no such word...

it's been quite a while since i last felt this... and i do not know how or why do i have this kind of feeling...(wait this is more than just a "feeling"...much much more than that...) it is as if i dove off a cliff without knowing if i will reach the bottom alive...and even if i don't, i'll have no regrets...it is as if i was able to breathe again, i was able to live again...

you made me realize that i do not have to conform to what people expect me to be...you removed me from my comfort zone and made me see what i have been missing all along...

thank you for coming into my life...thank you for being my life...

started with a nosebleed....

2005-04-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

my day started with a nosebleed...my very first nosebleed in my lifetime...i'm not really feeling that well since i feel nauseous & my sweat is so cold...heck i'm not used on this kind of feeling...i am not like myself today since i'm often hyper or really talkative...as for now, i haven't uttered a single word for about an hour...i'm not even in the mood for eating (which is really something that'll shock the people around me)...i want my old self...

i often wondered what it really feels to have a nosebleed...but now i'm not sure i want to feel this again...

maximum tolerance po!

2005-04-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

Walang pinipili
kahit estudyante,
madre man or pari
basta ba nag-rarally
"maximum tolerance" kunyari

sila may tear gas
tayo may placard
sde bota helmet pa ang mga loko
eh nag tsi-tsinelas lang tayo

may dala-dalang batuta
"maximum tolerance" pa kaya
kung may mga binubugbog at kinakaladkad palayo
dahil gusto lang makalapit sa kumperensya ng IPU.

sa tapat pa ng simbahan ng malate mismo
sapilitang binuwag ang mga raliyista
sabi nga ng iba sa walang pag-galang na ipinakita
kung yung mga pulis na iyon ay Kristiyano pa.

sigaw ng mga nagpoprotesta
"pakinggan nyo kaming dala ang boses ng masa
ang kalagayan ng bayan ay malayo sa tsini-tsismis sa inyo ni Gloria
talamak ang kahirapan, patayan. sa kanya wag maniwala."

sabi ng pulis, "no permit, no rally"
wag nang mag martsa, sa IPU hindi kayo kasali."
"right to peaceful assembly garantiya ng konstitusyon" sabi ng pari.

ayaw ng pandak na presidente ang mapahiya
gusto ang IPU na maging "payapa"
hinakot ang sangkatutak na pulisya
at marahas na idi-nisperse ang mga nagpo-protesta.

lumaki ang mga matang mga media na banyaga
sa nasaksihang karahasan
bug-bog sarado ang ilang pari at mga kasamahan.

sigaw ng mga pulis "walang pari-pari dito!"
sagot pa ng mga Carmelites, "pasista na talaga ang gobyerno
pati mga pari hindi sinasanto
kung kaming mga pari ay binubug-bog, ano pa kaya ang ibang tao?"

www.livejournal.com/~gareb

senti....

2005-04-19T21:34:00.000-07:00

walang kasing ganda pagmasdan ang bukang liwayway
walang 'sing tamis ang huni ng ibong maya sa pagsilip ng umaga
di mapapantayan ang saya ng paggising
na makikita kung gaano kadalisay
ang pag-ibig na nadarama

walang hindi ko kayang lusubin,
kahit buhay ang iyong hingiin
upang matiyak ang iyong kaligtasan
walang hindi kaya ibigay,
para sa sintang minamahal.

walang katulad ang pagmamahal na nararapat na ialay sa tulad mo,
ang buhok mong kasing itim ng gabi,
at ang mga labi mong kasing pula ng dugo,
na dumadaloy sa aking ugat at nananahan sa aking puso
ang mga mata mong tila nang-aakit
na di kailanman mabubura sa aking gunita

atin ang bukas kung iyong nanaisin,
hawak natin ang bawat umagang darating
sa anumang sigwa na maaring dumating
ako ang haharang upang ika'y di masaktan
atin ang lahat ng bituin kung hihilingin,
atin ang buwan at pati na ang araw...

dahil para sa iyo,
alay ko ang bawat umaga
sa iyo ang buhay ko
dahil walang kapantay
ang pag-ibig na inaalay ko

mmm...

2005-04-17T03:56:00.000-07:00

alone...

enemy of the state daw!

2005-04-13T17:23:00.000-07:00

para sa mga enemy of the state
message: dahel ang tawag sa iyo ay enemy of the state

tinawag ka nilang enemy of the state, kasama.

kaya nang magrally ka sa rajah sulayman
pinukpok ka at binigyan ng 3 stiches na remembrance.
habang ang mga kasama mong pari ay inilagay sa kulungan.

ito ang kanilang version ng maximum tolerance.

ang mga ralyista ang unang nambato
ang mga welgista ang unang nanggulo
walang permit para magrally dito

lalo na ang mga tinatawag nilang enemy of the state.

kasama ka duon, kasama.

at akala nila may maniniwala pa sa kanila.

akala nila tatahimik ka.
akala nila magla-lie low ka.

akala nila pag pumatay sila
ng dalawampu't siyam na aktibista
matatakot ka.

akala nila, pag sinabi nilang, six months
ubos ang militante sa isang probinsya,
matatakot ka.

binigo mo sila.

nagpunta ka pa rin
kung nasaan ang masa.

nagpunta ka sa squatters area
na di pinupuntahan ng DSWD.

nagpunta ka sa mga liblib na lugar
na di inaabot ng DPWH, DOT, DOH at Department of Energy.

nagpunta ka sa mga pabrika,
na ang unyon, ayon sa DoLE
ay pumapatay ng ekonomiya.

nagpunta ka sa mga eskuwelahang
walang blackboard
walang upuan
walang recess
walang libro
walang library
walang classroom
walang teacher

nagpunta ka sa di nila pinupuntahan.
nagpunta ka sa ayaw nilang puntahan,
at iminulat silang lumaban.

itinuro mo kung bakit ang yaman ng pilipinas
ay wala sa tagpi pagpi nilang mga tahanan.

wala sa pinggan nilang walang laman.

itinuro mo na ang lipunan ay isang malaking tatsulok
at walang ibang tunguhin ang tulad nila kundi ito ay baligtarin.

at dahil sa itinuro mong ito,
tinawag ka nila
sa isang magarbong powerpoint presentation
na enemy of the state.

para lagyan ka ng sungay
para gawin kang halimaw
para sa iyo'y walang maniwala.

nangsagayon, lumayo sa iyo ang masa.

sa isa pang pagkakataon
muli mo silang bibiguin.

--
http://shempre.blogspot.com
http://photonski.com/kilometer64

errr...

2005-04-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

converse-ation

errr...

2005-04-08T21:08:00.000-07:00

i know it's here somewhere...

grabe nah!

2005-03-23T05:44:00.000-08:00

GRUMAGRABE NA ANG ESTADO PUMAPATAY NG WALANG KALABANLABAN DAPAT LABANAN NATIN ITO ILANG TAO PA KAYA ILANG BAYANI PA KAYA ANG MAGBUBUWIS NG BUHAY NYA PADAYON HANGGANG SA TAGUMPAY!!!

2005-03-23T05:34:00.000-08:00

love lifted me

mmm....

2005-03-23T05:20:00.000-08:00

as pure as a white rose

sa kung ano lang ang lumabas

2005-03-19T00:59:00.000-08:00

kainis dahil di ko alam kung ano ang isusulat ko... parang ang daming mga salita sa uatk ko pero di ko magawang ilabas o kung di man ay itype...madalas na ito mangyari sa akin lately kasi puno ng kung anu-ano ang utak ko...

teka namamanhid ang utak ko...di ko alam kung paano ko maiisip na ganito ang mangyayari sa buhay ng isang kaibigan..ibig sabihin lang tumatanda na kami at labas na yung mga bagay na pambata lang...wehehehe...ang saya sana kung mananatili na lamang akong bata habambuhay.. para di mo kailangan isipin ang mga bagay-bagay na nakakapagpasakit ng ulo at puso... hhhaaayyy eto na naman ako... wala na namang magawang tama... nag-eemote na naman..

sana lang kasama ako sa pagtanda nila..sana pati ang isip ko ay tumanda na rin...sana sa bawat araw na dumadaan ay may bagong mga pangyayaring uusbong sa aking pagkatao... sana makasama ko na yung angel ko... si ano.. sana talaga alam niya... at sana... sa wakas ay makita ko na siya...

ang corny...di ko pa siya nakikita pero mahal ko siya...di ko pa alam kung ano ba talaga siya pero mahal ko siya... siguro ganito talaga pag mahal mo talaga ang isang tao... sana nga lang alam niya... sana lang din ay may pagkakataon ako para sabihin sa kanya...

alam kong darating din ang araw na magkikita kami...sana nga lang pagdating no'n...mahal ko pa rin siya...hhhaaayyy..anong saya siguro kung nagkataon...

kanta ko

2005-03-14T01:16:00.000-08:00

may kaibigang nakiusap sa aking kun pwede ko daw ba siya gawan ng kanta...di naman ako inspirado kaya hindi ako maka-gawa ng lovesong...paano ba naman eh non existent ang lovelife ko....wehehehe...pero siguro pag-iisipan kong mabuti para naman matuwa naman yung kaibigan ko n aiyon...wehehehe...siguro binabasa din niya ito...kaya para malaman mo na rin na pinag-iisipan ko ng mabuti kung anong mga salita ang maari kong gawin para sa kanta mo...wehehehe...

yun lang...wala na ulit akong maisip na makabuluhan...c",)

currently feeling: missing my angel....
sana alam mo na ikaw angel ko....

uummm.....

2005-03-14T00:53:00.000-08:00

pag-iisip lang ng title ng entry na ito eh di ko pa magawa... haay...ganito na talaga pag tinatamaan ka na ng 'finals syndrome'...kasi ba naman eh naubos na ang energy and powers ko dahil sa finals...project dito at exam jan...naghahabol pa ako sa iba kong teachers dahil sa mga requirements na di ko pa napapasa...feeling ko katapusan na ng mundo at kamatayan ko lang ang magliligtas sa akin sa lahat ng ito...wehehehe...pero wala pa naman akong balak mag-suicide...wehehehe...happy pa naman ako sa buhay...pero hindi sa pag-aaral ko...

*****

parang next episode ang drama ng entry ko na ito...wehehehe...napansin ko kasi na wala pa akong march entry kaya ito gumawa at nagsulat ng kahit anong pumasok sa utak ko... wala na yatang pumapasok na matinong bagay sa utak ko ngayon...ksi masyado akong focused sa mga kailangang gawin ngayong finals...mahirap na...bka 3 taon na akong first year...wehehehe...

*****

sobrang nainis ako kanina nung pumunta ako ng internet cafe para makipag-chat sa isang kaibigan...happy pa ako nung umpisa at pakanta-kanta pa ng everything ng lifehouse nang biglang isang mag-syota ang umupo sa katabi kong computer...nabangga pa nga ako nung babae pero okay lang...normal lang nman iyon sa isang medyo masikip na lugar...masaya akong nakikipag-chat kay arcy nang biglang maghalikan ang dalawa!!! nung una eh parang okay lang ako...ordinaryo lang nman sa mga mag-syota yon...ang talagang naka-sira ng ulo ko eh yung tunog habang naghahalikan sila...medyo tumagal kasi eh....ay di lang pla medyo...matagal talaga yung kissing scene sa tabi ko...di ko lang talaga lubos maisip na di na nila mapigilan ang kani-kanilang mga sarili at doon talaga sa internet cafe nagpakita ng kanilang pagiging intimate...(nasabi ko bang puno yung cafe?) hhaaayyy...kaya yon...di nagtagal umalis na rin ako...at hinayaan ko na lang silang maghalikan nang maghalikan...wehehehe...sana lang kung maisipan ulit nilang maghalikan sa loob ng internet cafe eh di na nila ako katabi...para peaceful ang effect ng paligid...kasi di nakakarinig ng tunog ng kanilang labing-labing..wehehehe...

*****

finals na talaga pero di pa nagtatapos ang school year para sa akin...paano ba nman eh magsa-summer ako...wehehehe...sana lang eh maka-pasa ako sa zoology...mabuti na lang at mataas ang grades ko sa english at di ko na kailangan kumuha ng exam...wehehehe...salamat mrs. gabriel!!! labs u so much mam!!!

****

wala na akong maisip na isulat...pigang-piga na talaga siguro ang utak ko kaya di ako makalagay ng makabuluhang entry...wehehehe...tatawa na lang siguro muna ako...kasi alam ko pagkatapos ng linggong ito patay na ako sa mga magulang ko...weehehehehe...

emote na naman

2005-02-28T04:38:00.000-08:00

"naranasan mo na ba na saktan ka ng mahal mo, ang sakit sakit...pero maiinis ka na lang dahil bigla siyang tatawag at hello pa lang niya....napatawad mo na..."

nakakainis mang aminin pero totoo ito...sa lahat ng pagkakataong gusto kong magalit sa kanya... ngiti lang niya parang nakalimutan ko na lahat...katangahan na kung katangahan pero anong magagawa ko eh ganito ang pakiramdam ko eh...ewan ko ba kung manhid lang talaga siya o ano samantalang halos lahat na yata eh alam na may gusto ako sa kanya... kelan lang meron siyang kasalanan sa akin... galit na galit ako pero nang makita ko siya parang nabura lahat ng galit... habang nakangiti siya na may maamong mukha...yun lang ang kailangan niyang gawin para mawala ang kung anumang sama ng loob... sana meron akong kapangyarihang pahintuin ang oras para pwede ko lang siyang tignan, di ko siya hahawakan....titignan ko lang siya habang iniisip kung ano ang magiging buhay ko pagtapos ng sandaling iyon...yun bang tulad ng dati... lagi lang sa tingin, sa mga biro at sa kung ano pang mga bagay na kumportable siya...dahil sa mga pagkakataong gano'n...wala akong ibang magagawa kundi isipin ang buhay ko habang siya masaya sa kanya...alam ko masasaktan ako ng husto...pero okay lang...hello pa lang niya mapapatawad ko na...

currently feeling: martir mode...

wahehehe!!!

2005-02-28T04:32:00.000-08:00

wahehehehe!!!!

stupidity

2005-02-28T04:29:00.000-08:00

some people are just stupid

natraffic ako kagabi..

2005-02-22T20:25:00.000-08:00

maaga sana akong nakarating ng bahay kung di lang ako natagalan sa traffic sa old bridge ng Mactan...may mga pulis na nagsidatingan at ang pick up truck ng ABS-CBN...akala ng mga kasakay ko sa jeep eh dumating si gloria...asus! kailangan nga naman ng media exposure kung gano'n...pero may bahagi ng utak ko na nagsasabing hindi pagdating ni GMA ang dahilan ng traffic..ksi kung darating sya...sa new bridge siya dadaan..dun sa gawa sa platinum...para mas maganda tignan sa camera ng ABS-CBN...para mas magandang media exposure...kaya ibinasura ko na yung pag-aakalang siya nga yo'n...at sa aking pagkagulat...*shocked expression**whoa* isang kundoktor ng jeep ang nagsabi sa driver ng sinasakyan kong jeep na isang lalaki ang tumalon sa bridge...nagpakamatay daw dahil iniwan siya ng kanyang asawa kasi daw wala na siyang trabaho kaya wala na daw siyang kakayanan na buhayin silang pamilya niya...ang pobreng si lalaki wala nang makita pang dahilan para mabuhay kaya tumalon siya sa bridge... nakakaawa nman...kaninang umaga eh wala akong narinig na balita tungkol sa kanya...kung nakita ba siya o patay na...huwag nman sana...

kung sana may trabaho lang siya okay pa sana sila ng asawa niya...kung may sapat lang sana aiyang kakanyahan at kaalaman di na niya kailangan mawalan ng trabaho at maghirap ang kanyang pamilya...

pathetic...

2005-02-20T01:46:00.000-08:00

i really don't have any idea why the universe seems to conspire to make me feel pathetic this week...maybe mercury is in retrogate or maybe i just don't have any idea what are the things that are going on around me...i hate the feeling that i am not in control...i hate it when things don't go the way i want it to...i dunno what are the things that can make me feel alright about this whole situation but i'm trying as much as i can to be positive about certain things...
i'm hanging somewhere unsure...i'm holding on to something i know nothing about...
good thing i have this weblog wherein i can vent out all the hecks that are happening to me...again i hate this feeling...i wanna have at least a little control on the things that are happening...

isang taas kamaong pagabati sa lahat!!!
wala lang....

love u...

2005-02-15T05:36:00.000-08:00

it's not how big it is...

....but what it says....